Week 15 NFL Preview

As predicted, Chicago beat the hapless Saints D. Even with Kyle Orton, playing like a rookie after being in the league for years, they found a way to pull off that game in the freezing cold. I didn't watch the game but luckily there was basketball on.

Atlanta v. Tampa is a microscosm of the whole season for the NFC South. Being consistently good for that conference is like Grasshopper trying to take the pebble from Master's hand. It's right there! Just grab it. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until the end of the movie to find out if it ever happens. Will the real NFC please stand up?

Washington v. Cincy can only be described as *yaaaawwwwnn*...Oh excuse me, I nearly fell asleep just talking about this game. This is the game they should have played on Thanksgiving. Between the triptophan in the turkey, this game, and the Crown the Itis would have been strong with me like the force with Anniken. I guess I pick Washington. Jim Zorn the genius and C.P. kissed and made up.

Detroit v. Indy is about as tough a game to pick - with Indy fighting for the playoffs - as the decision whether or not to wear the opposing team's gear in a Philly stadium. I don't know people that like having beer thrown on them. INDY!

S.D. v. KC simmers like a chitterling stew. Tradition that smells like crap! I have Thigpen starting on my fantasy team, but they're bad. San Diego aint that good either. I'm just banking on them having some pride playing in a divisional game. Sorry Herm...

Buffalo v. NYJ should be a fun matchup. The Jets, fighting for their playoff lives; the Bills doing the heroine lean - trying not to collapse. NYJ should make it happen. Favre does his best Pirates of the Caribbean and "rights the ship."

Seattle v. St. Louis is another yawner. What is the deal with these boring ass games? I don't know who's gonna win this sorry matchup! *flipping coin* St. Louis it is.

Frisco v. Miami has to be looked at through the eyes of someone traveling west to east. It ain't easy, esepecially when you're already not a great team. S.F. has pulled off some impressive wins as of late, but I have to think the Dolphins see this as an opportunity to solidify their opportunity at the playoffs. *over/under alert* Joey Porter causes 3 controversies...I'm taking the under.

Green Bay v. Jacksonville can only be described as two disappoing teams trying to make good. Green Bay still has a chance. Jacksonville put everything they owned in a box to the left, weeks ago. Live long and prosper, nanoo nanoo, go where Brett has gone before...

Minnesota v. Arizona gives me chills. Not for the cold in Minnesota, but for the yearning I feel burning in my gut to make a call to my bookie! Arizona's only giving three in this bad boy! Did anyone see Minny play the Lions last week? That game alone should make them a two touchdown dog.

Pittsburgh v. B-More is another icy-hot and concussion game. There is some magic in Pittsburgh that normal humans, like us, will never understand. How in the HELL did they pull that game off last week? Is Pittsburgh in Middle Earth? Is Gandolf calling plays for these fools? I like Mike Tomlin, can't stand the rest of those punks...what the hell is a Polamalu...sounds like a Mexican dish. Why don't we send him down to Mexico so the Mexicans can eat him!?

Denver v. Carolina is another game that makes people that paid for the Sunday package question their own judgment. What is up this week? Anyway, Carolina has a ground game like Bugs Bunny on his way to Albuquerque. Denver couldn't stop a clock. You gotta go with the fighting Smiths.

New England v. Oakland presents a real challenge for me. New England should destroy Oakland by all conventional wisdom. But New England has not a n'ere line backer to speak of. Who you gonna put in there, Junior Seau - the fine wine? Maybe you put in Gary Guyton - the pluck wine? Maybe you go with the emergency fill-in Roosevelt Colvin - the last minute liquour store purchased box wine. Darren McFadden could get off like a porn star on set, today. I gotta think about this some more...nah, da Raaaiidas will find a way to lose.

NYG v. Dallas could be the focus of a bad t.v. show or movie. Sunday Night Lights, Hits, or Jocks Acting Dumb all sound good. I mean, do I even care that Romo has become Mr. Ohno at the end fo the season. Can I stomach TO (the bad one) doing it again? Is Plaxico even worth my thoughts? Well, he's from the D so he gets an ignorant pass. Anyway, I guess NYG comes back from a bad loss. There was nearly no Plax talk, they could get back to business, and focus on beating Dallas' side show.

Philly v. Cleveland could be the beginning of the end for Romeo. I'm sad he couldn't find a fall guy. Then, when you're a fat black man named Romeo, you stand out. It's hard to get behind a fall guy in those circumstances. Well, I guess I can only assume the worst. I'll be rooting for the black QB Monday Night

Overall, this week is as disappointing as Southern Senators votes. I guess I'll find something else to do, this Sunday. MG told me I should be in church Sunday morning, so I'm gonna go to church. It's not First Sunday, is it? I don't want to be in there until 3 o'clock...damn preachers and their verbosity. Don't ask why the preacher talks all day and has a Cadillac! Damn pulpit pimps...yes I said it!

I'm out like fiduciary responsibility...go "buy" a Bentley!

PEACE