Crabs in a Bucket Spreads to New Communities

What has the world come to? Have we entered the age when we can't trust a house full of random people we don't know to not take pictures of us with their camera phones and sell them to the tabloids? I seriously want to know who the clown was, that sent the picture of Michael Phelps taking bong rips, to the paper.

Honestly, you're some random jack off in South Carolina. What is the coolest thing that has ever happened in South Carolina? I'm going to guess it's a 12 time gold medalist partying with you backwood, english destroying, confederate flag waving, never to have a star party with you again - hicks. Let's at least hope this person won the equivalent of the megamillion lottery for sending this picture in to that London rag. If they didn't, what was the point?

If that person didn't come up, then hating has hit a remarkable and unprecedented professional level. There was a time when haters just hated. They might disparage you behind your back. They might even be so bold as to tell you, to your face, that you were insane or never going to accomplish your goals. Haters going to the press with their hate is too damn much hate!

Then, Kelloggs hates by dropping Phelps. Word?! Kellogg's...Kellogg's...I'm going to think about how to phrase this. Do you realize how consistent it is with your image that your spokesperson is taking bong rips? He is the spokesperson for Frosted Flakes, for crying out loud!! Frosted Flakes are the stoner equivalent of a royal rumble at a 12 year old boy's birthday slumber party - inextricably linked.

Even your website is a high man's heaven. Have you ever taken a look at your top recipes? You boast Double Coated Chicken, Crispix Mix, Chocolate Scotheroos, and Good and Spicy Meatballs, to name a few items. These recipes are considered required literature in the Blaze Academy. How dare you drop him, you haters?

Finally, the biggest haters of all - cable news. Yes, I understand you make it your business to hate, pass judgement, and generally numb the minds of your viewing audience with your incessant coverage of meaningless junk; but you were one of the biggest reasons for all of this outrage. The U.S. Swimming Association and Phelps' sponsors had basically forgiven him for his "transgression." Thanks to your consistent outcries and coverage, we saw the equivalent of what happens in Vegas definitely NOT staying in Vegas - to the tune of millions in sponsorship and time in the pool. This man is a hero so he had to fall, right? Because of you, cable news, every famous person has to live every moment like a saint, lest they want to conjure the wrath of the most worthless entity to hit the media since C-Span 17 or E!

Haters have got to go. It is finally time for the least of us to be banished to obscurity. How can this be done? We pay no attention to them. If you have any realness in your body, you must resist the urge to listen to, agree with, give credence, or any consideration to the black hole that is the hater's abyss of negativity. Join me! Get closer to God by rejecting all bitch ass-ness. Bring back the tides of good will, participation, and congradulations amongst the winners of the world. Remember, you don't have to bring someone down to raise yourself up. If you really think that way, then welcome to the reason you are where you are now. Change your mindstate, not the perception of some else's greatness. Your soul will thank you for it.

Drugs are Bad, Mmmmkay?

I'm in this AdLaw class. In it, we're discussing the legality of direct to consumer advertising (DTCA). DTCA has been legal since 1997, when DTCA laws changed in the U.S. Only the U.S. and two other developed nations share this distinction, if that's what it can be called.

So, if you're wondering whether you're socially inept, impotent, or believe the Jarvik artificial heart guy you're probably a victim of DTCA...or a total fool - take your pick. It's an epidimic that's sweeping the nation and doctor's offices, across this great country. Marketers and companies do some pretty sleazy things, but messing with people's health? That's the bottom line.

It was educationally estimated that $4.2 billion (yes, billion) was spent on DTCA in 2005. 94% of which was focused on everyone's favorite medium, the tv. Is anyone else sick of seeing boner commercials when trying to watch a wholesome episode of Jeopardy with their mothers? I am, and it has to stop. It has to stop like JJ had to stop Michael from joining the Black Panther Party on Good Times. It has to stop like the hearts of those goldfish you bring home from the state fair. It has to stop like George Bush's term in office. In other words, for the good of the nation we must join together as if we were Voltron to bring justice to the meek.

I'm a marketer and I'm usually all for direct communication to consumers, but drug companies are already known to be suspect. We know they pay off doctors to push their medications to their customers. I call it drugola, from the famous payola of the old radio days; although I think this still exists. How else would Soulja' Boy Tell 'Em get on the radio? Come on, "Kiss me Through the Phone"? But I digress. The psychological power and danger that exists with having an overdrugged and hypochondriac nation could be enormous. I remember when the only things we had to worry about as kids was the asthma puffer and lice. Now, kids are popping pills for everything from ADHD to depression - a kid, DEPRESSED!

Can you picture kids needing a boost of legal speed before going outside to play? It's already hard enough to get their fat asses to put down the PS3. Do old men who can't get it up really need to be doing it? I'm making t-shirts that say "Remember Vioxx." If you've forgotten, this is the company that went on an all out marketing blitz of their product in 2000 and 2001. They won advertising and marketing awards for being a "power company." Soon, we found out that tens of thousands suffered severe cardiovascular problems from this drug. The yellow bellied government won't do anything unless the constituents say something - so say something!

To join the fight against this disturbing practice, go to www.stopdrugads.org/learnmore.html.

III HAAAAVE THE POWERRRR!!!

My buddy Roland Burriss. I call him my buddy because he has delusions of grandeur akin to my own. The erection of his own mosileum with a list of his accomplishments says so. Okay, the truth...Roland Burriss is like an oversized beauty mark. His very existence is oxymoronic. Who claims humility while erecting a mosileum of their accomplishments in the same lifetime? Roland Burriss does.



Bank of America sold off $2.83 billion of assets of a Chinese bank, effectively reducing the company's worth by 2.5 percent. This leads me to the question - what is really being done with these TARP funds? The TARP funds are the Carrot Top of all governmental decisions...a walking joke that tells more and more jokes, never going away.

Bleh.

Beware: This Post Can Bring About the 'Itis

There is very little prep work that needs to be done for this video. I think that I need one of those laugh now cry later masks and a mile jog just to watch this ridiculousness.


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*Yaaaawwn*

I'm going to go take a nap. And maybe have a good cry.

Sly Like a Savant

In the continuing drama that surrounds Blagojevich, we now have Roland Burris. A man that has been a political opportunits his whole career. He's like any point gaurd that plays for coach Mike D'Antoni. Ask Steve Nash what D'Antoni did for his career.

Despite his strong record of integrity, Burris draws the ire of his own party. Not so much for what he's done in the past, but for his most recent moves. Is it wrong for me to question the intelligence of a man that accepts a nomination from Blago? I mean, he couldn't have thought that his acceptance of this offer would be met with cheers - could he? That's akin to me signing a record deal with a record company formed by the deposed Milli Vanilli "singers." Then, expecting people to believe it's my voice when I pull an Ashley Simpson on SNL.

I'm sick of this whole story, and I'm also pissed. I'm pissed off that these idiots feel it necessary to add more drama to an Obama Administration facing mulitple crises. Finally, I'm apalled at the stupidity and/or smugness of Mr. Burris. His whole attitude with his defiant, "I'm showing up in Washington" rhetoric is sickening. You made your point, alright. It made you destroy a whole career of positive in one word - yes.

I'm pleading with you, Mr. Burris, to stop the madness. Please. Any idea we ever had of you being intelligent are gone. I want to do you like Cartman does Mr. Kitty on South Park. "No Kitty, that's my pot pie"!!