Week 12 NFL Picks

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving my friends! Continuing on this awesome sports weekend is a football Sunday with some interesting - nay - compelling games. *Stretches, lunges, flexes* Let's do this! Like Gucci bag references in a 2 Chainz song, you know you're going to get the real from one TO the Great.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday! Unfortunately, these games went true to form. I'm for the firing of Jim Schwartz for costing the Lions that win. No coach should be that directly linked to his team's loss. Maybe there's insurance money in an 8 wins or less season for Schwartz. That hurt Detroit worse than if Obama were to outlaw cars.

Editor's Note to the Cowboys and the Jets:

Please stop. There is nothing good going to come of the rest of this season for either of you. It's time to pull the plug. Look, I understand there's belief and even animism necessary to suspend all logic that you have a problem. Tell me, how does it make you feel to have fallen so far from relevance? Yeah, I know. But it's time to move on. Say it with me, 'I take responsibility for the fact that I'm a loser and I am willing to stop doing the same thing and expecting different results.' Now, take a deep cleansing breath...now do the right thing and take the season off of life support.

Now that that's over let's talk some football!

 Pitt v Cle cracks open football Sunday. With all these crazy uniforms the Steelers have been wearing this year, I want them to come out rocking some 'Back to the Future' style PF Flyers, because it looks like 2003 up in this joint! Plaxico and Charlie Batch? What's next? Is the ghost of coach Cowher's chin going to come back and scowel at players?  The Steelers may be hurt, but Cleveland doesn't know how to win. Somewhere, Wiz Khalifa is waving a towel looking like a black hippie singing, "Black and Yellow"! Steelers!

*UPSET ALERT* Flash the lights and sound the sirens! After snatching victory from the jaws of defeat for a couple of weeks in a row, Atlanta heads south to face a hot team  in the swamp that they call Tampa Bay. My man Baby Hair's been slinging it, like a broken collar bone, for the Bay leading to some gutsy and solid wins. Matty Ice, on the other hand, has well...looked like fish filet on a plate of stake and lobster. Tampa's boys won't let him get away with those lapses in execution so easy. Buccaneers!

In the Cincy v Oakland game we get the original Red Rifle model facing the new and improved Red Rifle. Let's be real, no one could/should blame Palmer for holding out last year. What would you do if your wife was a paranoid delusional that held a knife to your neck while you slept? You'd leave! Anyway, his (old) team is still just as hard to figure out while his new team is just as much of a circus. Where did he gain? "Um, I'll take the black and silver crazy for the black and orange crazy please." WHAT!? I'm going with the new model. Bengals!

Will someone please get a wrench, some plumber's tape and a fix this leaky Chicago line? They're going to get someone hurt! Wait, they did? Cutler you say? Oh. They're going to get someone hurt we care about! Anyway, did you know that Adrian All Day Petersen is leading the league in rushing with 1,128 yards? Wasn't it just 10 months ago he was laying on the turf clutching his knee looking like a zygote in cleats?  I'm looking at him like Drago looked at Rocky, "he's not a man, he's like steel." I heard he has cyborg in his family - a couple generations back, but he looks like his great granddaddy. Vikes!

This next game is a tough one to call. But, that's why they pay me nothing. I can mislead you for free! I think this come down to the running game. Miami's lost it, and Marshawn the Beast Lynch is living up to his moniker. However, Seattle wins on the road like the Navy wins the ground battles. I'm hoping Tannehill can protect the ball at home and Miami figures out how to run block again. Dolphins!

After being shot out of the sky like a Dick Cheney quail, the dream season for Luck is back on track! Why? They're finally playing a team with a losing record again. What a recipe for success? A dash of salt, a pinch of cumen, and some horrible teams! Jokes aside, Buffalo looked pretty decent last week but I'm still skeptical. If Ryan Fitzpatrick doesn't throw the ball, they'll be fine. But I think the Colts offense puts them  in a situation where they need to throw; the wheels will then come off. Colts!

KC is playing Denver. We know who's gonna win, but not helping is one Where For Art Thou. He said, and I quote, "That's what I told them (the team), we have to be perfect because that's the only way we have a chance." Well thanks for the confidence coach! I'm ready to go run through a brick wall for you! Seriously! SERIOUSLY!!? This is why his teams are like 3 - 1 trillion. Somebody get a huge parachute so Crennel doesn't bust his fat ass when he's pushed out of the plane. Broncos!

Somewhere, the spirit of the AFC South is crying. Jacksonville welcomes Tenny into their town, and I can only hope Chris Johnson goes off like guns in a drug turf war. Titans!

While Baltimore doesn't play well on the road, San Diego's about as hot as Ice Cube's afro in one of those Coors Lite commercials. That' didn't matter last year, though, when they drubbed them and their chances at locking up the AFC. I'm not still bitter. This ain't last  year, though. Fighting for the last of Chicago's plumber's tape is San Diego's offensive line. I just hope Rivers doesn't get hurt when Suggs jumps on him like he's a trampoline. Ravens!

San Fran goes to face NO down in the dirty. The amazing thing, is that NO went from a bounty gate side show joke to legitimately relevant.  Meanwhile, Harbaugh is creating a sideshow with his QB starting situation. I'm not buying it. He'll do what he's done all season. Alex Smith is the starter and Kaepernick will come in for plays and/or series at times. What worries me, is will Alex Smith feel the tug of that short leash and make mistakes? Or, will he step up and bust the thread of that leash? It shouldn't matter too much, as NO's D is abysmal. I think San Francisco goes down there and hangs half a G worth of yards on these cats. Niners!

In the Papa John's Free Pizza Disappointment Bowl, we have STL v AZ. Since these teams played each other six weeks ago, they've both gone 0-fer. I don't even know what you call that. My elocution fails me at the enormity of that irony. Sad to say, AZ is starting a rook and I can't imagine STL is going to give it up to a rookie. But, that run D is about the only thing  AZ can hang is sloppy, torn, frayed hat. This will be a close and ugly one, but Rams!

Manning coming off of a bye is like money in the bank. Shawty what ya' drank! Sorry I just had a lil Scrappy moment, there. But I digress. I'm so excited for this showcase game, because Rodgers, when not on his ass, is tossing the pill like Crestor commercials. Which NYG team will show up? Will it be the team that reeled off four straight, or will they look like the team that lost the last two? I'm guessing they come back with venom and malice!!! They sack Rodgers in to two interceptions that Manning takes advantage of for a three point Double U. Giants!

In the Microsoft I Used to be Exciting Bowl, we have Caro v Philly. All eyes will be on two of the least interesting teams in the league, on the field. The side show and after game antics could bring us some fireworks, though! Ooooh, I can't wait to see Cam roll his eyes; Philly fans holding up hilarious signs like, "Reid the signs and quit";  or something like that. I actually want to see the train completely derail in Philly, at this point. What better way for that to happen than on Monday night in front of the world! Panthers!

Week 11 NFL Picks

The comeback begins! Me losing is about as true as Hostess going out of business. Trust, you'll still be able to enjoy the goodness, cuz like the trans fats and sugar...I'm killin' 'em son!

Buffalo didn't help me with my comeback, but since when has Buffalo helped anyone? Who would've thunk the worst D in the league went from being on the bad end of an avalanche to forcing turnovers like a wife with a snoring husband? *GAH!!!*  No matter, let's get to the rest of the games.

Why isn't the story line rookie v rookie in the Philly Washington game? Heh. I can't even keep a straight face on that one. In the first round of coaching for your job, Andy Reid edition, we see Philly coming in to face a squad almost as cold as they are. These teams are so cold, that by halftime they'll actually be playing hockey. The field will ice over, and NFL officials will come out with sticks. Regardless of Andy Reid's history against DC with new QB's, I gotta go with my main man Sock Whisperer. Skins!

Jacksonville goes to Houston in what can only be described as a "this is why they play the game" situation. Except, does anyone seriously think this is that kind of party? Not likely. My favorite bowling ball with legs is still out, Yo Gabba Gabbert is out, and their old record is out. 8 straight losses are to the Jags what cheddar bay biscuits are to Red Lobster - on the menu! Texans!

Detroit welcomes division foe Green Bay to the Motor City. This is a must-win for Detroit, and even though Green Bay is coming off of a bye, they're still beat up. This is Detroit's best chance to put themselves in position for the playoffs, because hand over brow looking down the road there's pot holes, speed bumps, and police everywhere. Detroit hangs on to win against the ailing Buccs. Lions!

Atlanta, just about the only team I didn't suspect to get upset on upset Sunday, had a letdown. Too bad for the Cards, because they're not going to lose two in a row.  I'm still bullish on this squad. There isn't much to say about this game, other than it will be a drubbing. Think the Hulk smashing Lokey at the end of the Avengers. Falcons!

Cincy goes to play KC. Cincy, a team that is about as consistent as a schizophrenic, looks to leave their Cybil-esque ways behind and finally get on a roll and play like the team they look like. For that to happen, you must beat the teams you're supposed to beat! If they don't win this, I'm taking them to Herman Keifer, putting on the straight jackets and prescribing them to intense psychotherapy. Bungles! I mean Bengals!

I'm riding with Sexy Rexy this week. Do you think Rex's team isn't playing so good because he lost so much weight? Is he the Luther Vandross of NFL coaches? I say, we take him to those supposedly closing twinkie facilities and make him eat! Eat until he gives up the guts and then make him eat some more. Something has to happen to help them change their disfunciton. St. Louie is better than their record, and another loss could send the football world into an absolute tizzy. "Who said Tebow sucks? Will Rex Ryan bring a BB Gun to practice and start shooting people? How long until Sanchez makes a public statement that he's being blackmailed by Russian gangsters to play terrible"? For the hope we get these scenarios, alone, I gotta go with the Rams!

Dallas, look at me in the eye. You have Cleveland coming in to town. I know, I know you like to blow games like a gardener does leaves. But you're better than that. You don't have to succumb to your natural proclivity to poke a hole in your own boat. What I'm saying is, I don't believe in you at all. But, you should believe in you. Your confidence in you gives me confidence in you. Oh, and it's November so go do what you do and win! Cowboys!

Low key Tampa is becoming one of my favorite teams of the 2012 season. Baby hair is playing like a grown man, they're playing good D, running the ball, and winning close games. Cam and them are having more  problems than a gazelle in a lion's den, and I have to resign to the fact that it's just one of those seasons. I can see this going to Caro, but that would be the sucker's bet. Panthers!

New Orleans has been trying to ball like a dog. Oakland, is what we thought they were - to channel my inner Denny Green - and they're missing their best offensive weapon. Things don't look so great on the east side of the bay for the home team. How ridiculous of a thought is it that the Saints could be .500? They need to give Drew Brees a key to the city, a car dealership, something. That dude has saved their season. Yep, there's other people on that squad, but they could have gone off the tracks, but he kept the train moving in the right direction. Wow. Respect. But that doesn't influence my picks. Raiders!

New England is welcoming in Indy, and everyone wants to make the QB's the story. And like you always hear, they're not playing each other. But that won't stop the idiot pundits from trying to have fun with it. I, unlike my usual M.O., will abstain. Patriots!

San Diego can't be as bad as they appear, like objects in your side view mirror. Denver is too high and this is the perfect time for them to drop one before their playoff push and the continued love of one Pharoah Manning. However, a division opponent they've already beat puts it on them like I do hot sauce on everything. Chargers!

Usually I'm all kinds of excited for Ravens v Steelers, but a bad B-More D and the Steelers playing a QB who hasn't started since the oughts, I'm less than excited about this. It's like hearing you're getting Rihanna when you thought you were getting Janet Jackson. I guess it's okay, but damnit I wanted to see Janet! Ravens!

Monday night arrives with another great game! How does Chicago get so (un)lucky that they get to have all these awesome games in a row? I'm excited to see if Chicago looks motivated after a tough loss to another great team. I'm not even upset we won't see the starting QB's, they're not the story for these teams, anyway. It's about the running games and the D. Both of which are won in the trenches. The immovable force v the impenetrable barrier! I'm more excited to see who has the best fat guys in the NFC than I am to have a couple of days off next week. Gotta pick somebody. Sorry Chicago, you come back in the hotly contested NFC North. Niners!

In case you didn't know, "Therran's Week 11 Picks" was the 11th Commandment, but biblical times politics got in the way. You can guarantee these picks are right as rain. I'm out like David Patreaus Peace!

NFL Week 10 Picks

Here we go again! Week 10, and the madness continues. You can't stop the prognostication shine, you can only hope to contain it.  Mark these words down in your diary, journal, or video blog (Culpepper) because you will rue the day you didn't pick upsets! Let's talk about upset Sunday!

The week didn't start exactly as we might expect, since the Jags didn't upset the Colts. However, didn't the Jags already beat the Colts for their one win!? Well, sounds to me like upset weekend is in full effizect. Let's do this.

Hooray for the Muscle Hamster! Does that make him Mighty Mouse's long lost cousin? And really, why would that name stick? Who enjoys calling someone Muscle Hamster? And is it just me, or if someone else was calling another dude "Muscle Hamster" in the locker room, wouldn't that make you uncomfortable? Anyway, these kids are baaaalling, like the last Jim Jones track to mean anything. Since I officially broke up with San Diego I can no longer pick them. I'm sure they'll win, buuut...Buccaneers!

Miami v Tenny could bring us the kind of excitement you get when you hang drapes. Sure, it sounded like a good idea, but when the brackets don't work and you're cussing out your family members, you realize...you were worried about this venture from the start. When your 175 year old owner says he's seen nothing like what you did last week, you've reached a new depth of lows that are rarely seen in sport. Does that deserve the pick of one Therranfuscious? I think not. No upset here. Dolphins!

The Bills head East to Gillette Stadium to play NE. Brady's 19-2 v the Bills. You know what that means on Upset Sunday? That means he's going to take a thrashing worse than Florida's electoral process. Stevie Johnson! Ryan...well, all the other guys - get so far in the Patriot's ass, they'll be spitting Bison Burgers. Bills!

Do Ravens have teeth? Because it seems like the Ravens (save that Houston debacle) has  been winning by the skin of 'em! Winning by 1, 3, and 7 points is a recipe for mediocrity in the league. The Ravens look so pedestrian, I hear they got a lifetime deal with Skechers. They'll be playing Oakland in B-Mo, without a running back. Word is they asked Phil Jackson his opinion about what they should do. It's all the rage in CA to do that, I guess.  Even on upset Sunday, you can't call this one for Oakland. Ravens!

Amen, in the name of the Nitchske, Brown and the Manning ghost. Seriously, you'd think this dude Peyton was a deity, the way these cats are treating him. I mean, I expect him to show up to the game in one of those bullet proof bubble domed Pope Mobiles. Meanwhile, Cam has fallen from grace worse than Bielsebub. However, he's on the comeback and we learned that Caro is 7-1 when the kid doesn't turn the ball over - 1-15 when he does! Unless the Broncos have some magical turnover powers they haven't shown this season, the matchup isn't in their favor, like a Bronx kid facing a judge on a "stop and frisk" charge. Panthers!

Eli! Where are you? Bruh, if you don't show up, soon, we're putting you on a milk carton. Damn, son! I haven't seen a guy regress so much since Karl Rove had to admit Ohio actually went to Obama! Who's the only team that looks worse than they do? You guessed it! The Bungles. When the road you're traveling seems all uphill...head to Cincy because they have all downhill slopes in that city! How does Marvin Lewis still have a job? My latest expose quest will be to uncover how/why/in what realm of humanity that makes sense. Giants!

Detroit heads to Minny trying to keep a lil' winning streak alive so they can climb out of the NFC North cellar. Minny looks so bad, they were treated for Sam Cassell disease, this week. It's true, they named a disease after that brotha'. It's good, though, a lot of very ugly people are finally going to get help. Anyway, I see this game being a continuation of the slow slide into sophomore slumpiness for one Ponder. I believed in the kid, now I just look at him like I do Scientology. Some people ride with you...but they're crazy. Lions!

Atlanta is 8-0 and they get no respect like Rodney Dangerfield standing next to George Carlin and Chris Rock. I disagree with the pundits, per usual, and actually think they're the truth. New Orleans, though, is on the come up like Stringer Bell and them in the first couple of seasons of The Wire. I'm not one to cast dispersion on wining streaks that last too long, but I think this is a letdown week for the underappreciated birds of the south. Saints!

Is Antonio Cromartie the craziest man alive, or is he slightly just behind Donald Trump? I'm no Psychologist, so I won't make any predictions, but they have about as much chance of making the playoffs as I do to hit a growth spurt, become 6-10' and finally hit the NBA like I wrote in my 3rd grade journal. However, whenever the chips are down, these cats seem to hit a Royal Flush. The young boy Russell plays quite well at home, but something flukey is going to happen that we can't explain and the ball will bounce the way of NY. This is probably a worse decision than trying to skateboard down a big hill while doing a hand stand, but I gotta do it...it's Upset Sunday. Jets!

In the Lowered Expectations Bowl, we have Philly welcoming division foe, Dallas, to the City of Brotherly Love. Yeah. Right. Ever been to Philly? I digress. Who can make a prediction about either one of these disappointments? I believe in these teams like I believe corporations care about anything but profit. "But Therran, 5 Hour Energy has pink bottles for the Susan G. Komen breast cancer!" Are you twelve? Given my lack of actual football discussion you see, analysis here is useless, *tosses a coin*, well it looks like the Eagles. Whatever.

San Fran still, in my not so humble opinion, looks like the best squad in the league. Meanwhile, the Rams take the ball away with the regularity of a senior after a cheese buffet facing a prune juice shortage. Disgusting, I know, but apropos. I still like Alex Smith, Gore and that D. No upset in this one. Forty Niners!

Texas heads to the Chi. I head towards the TV. This game will be a defensive gem. Turnovers, tackles and picks...oh my! I love games like this. It should be a tough game, but  the Bears ain't fought nobody. And while this technically can't be an upset with both teams at 7-1, I feel like most people like the Bears. However, the Texans actually have an offense that steps up in crunch time. Regardless of Peanut Tillman's predictive baby delivery powers, the Bears don't quite have enough. Texans!

Finally we end the week with a laugher. I know we should be living up to our predictions of upsets on Upset Sunday, but I'm not buying the Chiefs ability to beat anybody. The Chiefs have about as much chance of beating the Steelers as the Canarsie Indians do getting Manhattan back from the white man. I feel bad for my man Where for Art Thou. He'll never get another head coaching job again. After what he's been through in Cleveland and KC, he should be happy with a O Line Coaching gig. Oh well. Life's tough, and so is steel. Steelers!

Remember, you heard it hear first. Upsets are the word of the day! I'm out like Mitt Romney's Presidential chances. My President is still black. My Lambo is still blue. My picks still ring true. I'm out and good luck!

NFL Week 9 Picks

The kid is back! Barely, though, as I thought Superstorm Sandy was going to sweep me off of the face of the earth. Lucky for all of you, I'm still alive! I also still have interwebs and mild dose of insanity fueling all random thoughts and prognostications. Honestly, though, the whole tri-state is a mess and if you can help in any way, many people need it.

Now, on the NFL Week 9 games!

K.C. v San Diego...happened I guess. What's there to say? From what I could tell, San Diego did what San Diego always does. They lull you to sleep and total disgust and finally at some point figure it out and start winning games. They are the rope-a-dopers of the NFL. I'm sick and tired of this schizophrenic football team. I wish they would just admit they have a problem (1st step) and get some help. Lastly, an eject button is currently being installed under the seat of one Romeo Crennel.

Despite being 6-1, Chicago has an ailing almost anemic offense. So, what does Roger Goddell do, in all his magnanimity? He serves them up chicken soup for the offense in the form of the Tennessee Titans! What better way to get over an air attack with a bronchial infection than to be slipped the robitussin of a  D giving up 400+ YPG!!?? MY LAWD!! Bears!

The Arizona Cardinals have slid further than the Atlantic coastline...what? Too soon? Anyway, it's high "tide" they get a win.Still too soon? Oh screw you, I lived through it. Problem is they're facing a GB team who's season looks like a hockey stick line graph, after three straight wins. These teams always play each other tough, and AZ's offense can't be on crutches forever - can it? I don't think so. Young Skelton comes out blazing like a smoker at an oil rig. Sorry GB, but the injuries catch up to you this week. Cardinals!

Hear this! Peyton Manning has never, NEVER, ever lost Cincinnati. With these teams' fortunes looking like opposing halves of a black and white cookie, I don't see that changing. And with Marvin Lewis having to make statements like, "You have to play efficient at (QB)" and "Turnovers beat you" he wins the newly installed *drum roll* Wait for it..."Breathing Helps You Live" or BHYL (pronounced "bile") award, because A. these comments are so patronizing it's like telling someone to breathe and B. they make me sick to my stomach like bile! Seriously Marvin? Turnovers are a bad thing? If I was there right now, I would kick you in the shin and tell you steel toe boots hurt. Broncos!!

Indy and Miami must feel like they're looking into a mirror right now. They're awfully similar teams, in structure and record. The major difference? Run defense. Indy gives up more ground than a bullfighter, "Ole"! and Reggie Bush is due a big game. This will be a possession game, and possession is 9/10ths of the law...so I've read. Anyway, the running game keeps the ball out of Luck's hands for very few chances at 4th quarter magic. Dolphins!

The sky is blue, water is wet and the Ravens beat the Browns...and breathing helps you live. Did I just BHYL myself? Anyway, B-Mo' is coming off of a bye following a shellacking of embarrassing proportions. They typically do well post ass-kicking. And, giving that they're going to be playing the Browns makes this a near no-brainer. Problem? Well, the Ravens play horrible on the road. Why? I don't know, ask them. I'm just stating facts. I'm going to pick them, but given all the injuries and road woes, I'd like to state my hints of doubt. Ravens?

This week, the Sock Whisperer told reporters he didn't want to be compared to Cam Newton. Hold on, buddy this is just not some syllogism this is real life, son! Last two Heisman winning QB's. Similar stats. Numbers one and two for the most runs for QB's in the league...come on dude you're not Aaron Rodgers or Peyton Manning. Once  you guys figure it out, you'll surpass those dudes. You SHOULD be looking to be compared to Cam, because you guys are peers and will be playing - God willing - against each other for the next decade plus. A'ight. Now that I've berated you, go out there and get us a win! Redskins!

When times are hard and the chips are down. Put your hand above your brow, and look around. What? The answer is not apparent still? Fool! Take your ass to Jacksonville! Lions!

Buffalo v Texas represents the first time Mario Williams will return to Texas with his new squad. If I were him, I'd feel horrible about my situation. I was brought in to be a defensive franchise changer and we stunk on D all those years. I get traded and suddenly we're a top 5 defense? Now, I'm on a team with more "Ls" than seas got shells? The tragedy of it is almost Shaeksperian. Maybe Ryan Fitzpatrick will even call plays in iambic pentameter. Texans!

Tampa Bay v Oakland could be all about Carl Nicks, the All-Pro Left Guard for TB is out and the answers don't look to be very apparent down there in that swamp they call a city. Normally, I'd go with the strongest of the two best bottom feeders, based on the way TB handled themselves in Minny, but this is a toughy now. I will say this, it will be an entertaining game whichever team wins. But, I'm sticking with my gut. Buccaneers!

Minny v Seattle could resemble an MMA fight more than a football game. Ground and Pound will be on the menu for both of these offenses. Lucky for Seattle, when they do need Russell, he has played much better at home and the Seahawks D is a little more steady than Minnesota's. I keeps it real. Seahawks!!

One of the games we've all been waiting for is here! NYG versus the Steelers...sha-bam! as Eli would say in one of his DirecTV commercials. Alright, excitement aside I think the team that has played better to this point is clearly the Gigantes. They're not only leading the league in takeaways on D, but the offense has been consistently solid. Pittsburgh is coming on, though, despite some key injuries. This game will be tighter than public accountant butt cheeks, but the air game of the Giants is something special. Regardless of a 1-7 record under Coughlin in week 9 games, I gotta go with...Los Gigantes!!!

Atlanta is on *UPSET ALERT*!!! Yes, the 7-0 Falcons could be the victim of a Tony Romo and Cowboys squad that is something like 9,000-1 in November (I think my stats are correct), and I for one wouldn't take them for granted. It doesn't look like Atlanta is scurred in the least. They sorta' have a quiet confidence this year, unlike all those other times they posted great records and got the breaks beat off of them in the playoffs. But I digress! I hate to do this, as it goes against history and all things superstitious, but...Falcons!

Monday Night! who do we have? Philly v NO? Ahh geez, what am I supposed to say about these two train wrecks? I don't know, but both of these teams bore me worse than a Frazier marathon, at this point. What? My mic is on? Damn! DAMN!!!  Hey folks, it looks like we have a good one on Monday Night. Here's the truth. We have a Philly team with a QB playing for his coach and a coach coaching for his job. If they lose this game, Andy Reid might get fired on Tuesday. The scent of desperation is rank on you, Philly. Too bad Drew Brees and them are trying to hit a little stride and don't want to drop 2 in a row. If Philly can just hold on to the damn ball, they'd be alright. So let's hear it, albeit very quietly for the winner and still employed Eagles!!!

There you have it, carved into a pillar at the coliseum of football prognostication halls of fame everywhere, TO's 2012 Week 9 picks! Someone please flip the light switch behind you and make sure the door is locked because I'm out like the lights in Manhattan. Deuces!