Israel and Palestinians are at it again in the Gaza strip. Hamas tore up the the peace treaty like wet tissue paper, and decided to start bombing Israel. Israel pulled their best Mike Tyson ear-bite move and fiercely defended themselves. They have, in the last couple of days, destroyed multiple military compounds run by Hamas.
Wow!
Could this have happened at a better or worse time in history? With the dollar receding against the Euro, ptice drops in oil, and another war going on in the Middle East we're sittitg with baited breath to see how long it takes to effect oil flow.
Jerry (Israel) is the wiley mouse that can befuddle the Muslim World (Tom) next door. I'll tell you what, Tom never got that mouse and damn near killed himself trying. I advise Muslims to leave the Israelites alone. Check out the footage.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7802851.stm
For Israel, this is a good thing. They have the reasoning to finally get rid of Hamas. Their biggest supporter, the U.S., couldn't be more shocked and awed at what is going on. With a power vacuum sucking the decision making power out of Washington, Obama is lucky he isn't the Prez right now. Bush ain't gonna do s**t. None of this is good news for the U.S. as declines in the dollar and oil shortages loom over the current financial crisis. With all of this in mind, my advice is the same...STAY OUT!
This brings me to my point for this post. When are we (people) going to learn that some folks just can't get along -- Tom and Jerry, Saber-Tooth Tigers and Mastadons, Yankees and Red Sox, and Israelis and Palestinians.
Some might say I'm mean or insensitive, but they should be left to their own devices. You can't interfere with a feud! You end up killing yourself, because no one on the outside of that feud can understand the feud. It will choke you to death. Look at what the Montague and Capulet feud did to Romeo and Juliet...and they were in the middle of it!
Would you try to stop a Saber-Tooth from snacking on Mastadon rump? Hell no! So we need to stay the hell up out of the Israeli-Palestinian feud. They know each other like that cousin you hate, and nothing or anyone on the outside can change the way you feel - neither through force or diplomacy. I'm penning my letter to the Obama administration, tonight, to stay away...far, far away.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
NFL Final Week Predictions
After a week hiatus, I'm back with the often wild final NFL regular season week of games. This week promises to be historic. When was the last time we've seen this many teams fighting for playoff berths in the last week? Will the Lions set the new mark for futility in the NFL? This week will be crazier than Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart squabbling over a Christmas rum cake recipe. Let's take a look!
St. Louis v. Atlanta looks to be a downer; St. Louis is out and ATL is in (the playoffs), so what's the motivation? Here's some...aww who am I kidding? The Falcons are so happy they're in the playoffs, they probably have cots set up in Magic City, and will still beat the Rams.
New England v. Buffalo boasts one of the aforementioned whacky playoff scenarios. Can you imagine missing the playoffs with 11 wins? A travesty, I say! It's like working all summer to get the new Jordans. Then, just before you go to buy them, Jordan finds Jesus and claims he's out the shoe game. The price goes up $50 per lace and you're ass out...tragic.
K.C. v. Cincy isn't even as interesting as the third place NIT game. There should be an irrelevancy rule in the NFL. If teams aren't playing for the playoffs or futile history, then there should be something else on the line. For instance, each of the losing team's players should have to enter their two favorite cars in a demolition derby immediately following the game. That way, we get two shows for one!
Detroit v. Green Bay is probably the most interesting game in the slate. Where were you when the first NFL team went 0-16 is gonna ring like "where were you when Obama was elected," or "where were you when James Evans from Good Times died"? Where ever you were, you knew your life would never be the same.
Tennessee v. Indy will be the battle of the backups. With both of these teams locked into their respective playoff spots, there may be little motivation for them to play starters the whole game. I look for Dungy to keep his starters in longer, as the Colts' problems with peaking too early have left many a Colts fan as unsatisfied as your lady when she's feeling especially fine.
NYG v. Minny is another possibly historic game. Ward could become the second thousand yard rusher on the Giants. A feat only accomplished three other times in NFL history. Yet, Minny needs this win, like Pookie from New Jack City needed crack, so I'm not so sure. In the words of the late Rick James, "cocaine is a hell of a drug." I gotta go with the fiend.
Caro v. NO sees more potential history. Man, I feel like I'm in an ESPN episode of "NFL's Greatest Games" right now. Anyway, Brees could become the single season passing record holder if he goes coconuts and passes for over 400 yards. On the other side of the field, Carolina is literally one bad kick and a week long hangover away from being a wild card team. I like Cackalacky to come through like a booty call - ready to beat and be out.
Cleveland v. Pitt. What to say about this game? I guess someone sat on the Pittsburgh Leprachaun last week, as they finally didn't come up with late game heroics to steal one. They won't need the luck of the Irish this week. Things have gotten so bad in the mistake by the lake, that Bruce Gradkowski could be starting today....that's the joke. I can't add to that.
Oakland v. Tampa might be interesting to a few people in Tampa Bay, as they can still make the playoffs with a "W." They just need the Cowboys to lose. The real question is, what going on in Oakland? All of a sudden, they're winning games like crazy! I haven't seen a better comeback since Flavor Flav started dating hoochies on t.v.
Chicago v. Houston sees a Bears team with playoff hopes more faint than the alcohol content of an O'Doul's. You know what they say about bears in a corner, though. They'll come out fighting against the Texans. They'll need some more special teams trickery to make it happen, but the football Gods have a condo in Chicago.
NYJ v. Miami has more drama than an MTV reality series. I want to see still shots of Favre, Pennignton, the Tuna, Mangini, and Sparano - with Alanis Morisette's "Ironic" playing in the background. I want to go with Miami so bad, I can taste Favre's tears. Miami going north in December makes me nervous but I love seeing teams collapse, though. GO PHINS!!!
Dallas v. Philly sits like one of those Philly cheesestakes you can buy off the corner in Philly. It's great going down, but in the end it's gonna stink something awful. Regardless of what team wins, heads will roll on the losing team. In this montage, I want T.O., Romo, and Phillips to have their faces painted on the Ichobod Crain pumpkin. Then, I want the headless horsemen to lift up his visor to show the faces of McNabb, Reid, and of course T.O. again. Then, they joust with "Push it to the limit," from Scarface playing in the background. I hope the Ichobods' heads roll.
Jax v. Baltimore is amazingly a game of little importance. We thought Jacksonville would be in the hunt; we see how that prediction went. Baltimore is surprisingly in a great spot to get into the playoffs. They might not even need to play hard if NE goes down in the early game, but Jacksonville is SO bad that I don't see them winning regardless of the playoff picture.
S.F. v. Washington are teams headed in two completely different directions...sort of like Michael and the rest of the Jackson brothers in the eighties. Anyway, I doubt Singletary's new contract has made him relax any. He's wound tighter than Al Sharpton at a Sarah Palin rally. His boys will play hard.
Seattle v. AZ is only interesting because I want to see if Arizona can stop the free fall. Someone must have clapped their hands on a mountain of freshly fallen snow, then yelled, "AVALAAAANCHE!!!" really loud. Did Kurt Warner age 15 years in one month, or is the release of Benjamin Button making me see things? I'm going with them out of pity.
Denver v. San Diego is my trash talk game of the week. I love it when these guys go back and forth at each other. You know what I always say. If you wanna play well, talk some trash. There's no better motivator than making sure you're not proven a liar. The drama in this one is also palpable, with the looming Hoculi call, Denver being the falling giant in the AFC West, and the playoff berth going to the winner of this game. I usually go with the hot team, so I won't break tradition. It is Christmas week and all...on the other hand, San Diego has stabbed me in the back many weeks. So, screw them. I'm putting my Mile High rally cap on.
Wow, what a week 17. First, a break from work, then Christmas, then this week of football. We are truly blessed. It almost makes me forget about the financial crisis, the war, the freezing cold, and the failing auto industry...wait no it doesn't. But it is a hell of a sedative!
Thanks for another great season.
I'm out like Israeli-Palestinian peace treaties...AGAIN!!
St. Louis v. Atlanta looks to be a downer; St. Louis is out and ATL is in (the playoffs), so what's the motivation? Here's some...aww who am I kidding? The Falcons are so happy they're in the playoffs, they probably have cots set up in Magic City, and will still beat the Rams.
New England v. Buffalo boasts one of the aforementioned whacky playoff scenarios. Can you imagine missing the playoffs with 11 wins? A travesty, I say! It's like working all summer to get the new Jordans. Then, just before you go to buy them, Jordan finds Jesus and claims he's out the shoe game. The price goes up $50 per lace and you're ass out...tragic.
K.C. v. Cincy isn't even as interesting as the third place NIT game. There should be an irrelevancy rule in the NFL. If teams aren't playing for the playoffs or futile history, then there should be something else on the line. For instance, each of the losing team's players should have to enter their two favorite cars in a demolition derby immediately following the game. That way, we get two shows for one!
Detroit v. Green Bay is probably the most interesting game in the slate. Where were you when the first NFL team went 0-16 is gonna ring like "where were you when Obama was elected," or "where were you when James Evans from Good Times died"? Where ever you were, you knew your life would never be the same.
Tennessee v. Indy will be the battle of the backups. With both of these teams locked into their respective playoff spots, there may be little motivation for them to play starters the whole game. I look for Dungy to keep his starters in longer, as the Colts' problems with peaking too early have left many a Colts fan as unsatisfied as your lady when she's feeling especially fine.
NYG v. Minny is another possibly historic game. Ward could become the second thousand yard rusher on the Giants. A feat only accomplished three other times in NFL history. Yet, Minny needs this win, like Pookie from New Jack City needed crack, so I'm not so sure. In the words of the late Rick James, "cocaine is a hell of a drug." I gotta go with the fiend.
Caro v. NO sees more potential history. Man, I feel like I'm in an ESPN episode of "NFL's Greatest Games" right now. Anyway, Brees could become the single season passing record holder if he goes coconuts and passes for over 400 yards. On the other side of the field, Carolina is literally one bad kick and a week long hangover away from being a wild card team. I like Cackalacky to come through like a booty call - ready to beat and be out.
Cleveland v. Pitt. What to say about this game? I guess someone sat on the Pittsburgh Leprachaun last week, as they finally didn't come up with late game heroics to steal one. They won't need the luck of the Irish this week. Things have gotten so bad in the mistake by the lake, that Bruce Gradkowski could be starting today....that's the joke. I can't add to that.
Oakland v. Tampa might be interesting to a few people in Tampa Bay, as they can still make the playoffs with a "W." They just need the Cowboys to lose. The real question is, what going on in Oakland? All of a sudden, they're winning games like crazy! I haven't seen a better comeback since Flavor Flav started dating hoochies on t.v.
Chicago v. Houston sees a Bears team with playoff hopes more faint than the alcohol content of an O'Doul's. You know what they say about bears in a corner, though. They'll come out fighting against the Texans. They'll need some more special teams trickery to make it happen, but the football Gods have a condo in Chicago.
NYJ v. Miami has more drama than an MTV reality series. I want to see still shots of Favre, Pennignton, the Tuna, Mangini, and Sparano - with Alanis Morisette's "Ironic" playing in the background. I want to go with Miami so bad, I can taste Favre's tears. Miami going north in December makes me nervous but I love seeing teams collapse, though. GO PHINS!!!
Dallas v. Philly sits like one of those Philly cheesestakes you can buy off the corner in Philly. It's great going down, but in the end it's gonna stink something awful. Regardless of what team wins, heads will roll on the losing team. In this montage, I want T.O., Romo, and Phillips to have their faces painted on the Ichobod Crain pumpkin. Then, I want the headless horsemen to lift up his visor to show the faces of McNabb, Reid, and of course T.O. again. Then, they joust with "Push it to the limit," from Scarface playing in the background. I hope the Ichobods' heads roll.
Jax v. Baltimore is amazingly a game of little importance. We thought Jacksonville would be in the hunt; we see how that prediction went. Baltimore is surprisingly in a great spot to get into the playoffs. They might not even need to play hard if NE goes down in the early game, but Jacksonville is SO bad that I don't see them winning regardless of the playoff picture.
S.F. v. Washington are teams headed in two completely different directions...sort of like Michael and the rest of the Jackson brothers in the eighties. Anyway, I doubt Singletary's new contract has made him relax any. He's wound tighter than Al Sharpton at a Sarah Palin rally. His boys will play hard.
Seattle v. AZ is only interesting because I want to see if Arizona can stop the free fall. Someone must have clapped their hands on a mountain of freshly fallen snow, then yelled, "AVALAAAANCHE!!!" really loud. Did Kurt Warner age 15 years in one month, or is the release of Benjamin Button making me see things? I'm going with them out of pity.
Denver v. San Diego is my trash talk game of the week. I love it when these guys go back and forth at each other. You know what I always say. If you wanna play well, talk some trash. There's no better motivator than making sure you're not proven a liar. The drama in this one is also palpable, with the looming Hoculi call, Denver being the falling giant in the AFC West, and the playoff berth going to the winner of this game. I usually go with the hot team, so I won't break tradition. It is Christmas week and all...on the other hand, San Diego has stabbed me in the back many weeks. So, screw them. I'm putting my Mile High rally cap on.
Wow, what a week 17. First, a break from work, then Christmas, then this week of football. We are truly blessed. It almost makes me forget about the financial crisis, the war, the freezing cold, and the failing auto industry...wait no it doesn't. But it is a hell of a sedative!
Thanks for another great season.
I'm out like Israeli-Palestinian peace treaties...AGAIN!!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thanks 'Deep Throat'
It is rare that I wouldn't thank someone named deep throat. Unless that someone wasn't willing to show me why they were named deep throat. This is beside the point, though.
The idea of the anonymous source has, in the past few years, been devalued more than full size SUV's...thought this post was about something else, huh? Gutter, did you know you have a mind in you?!
Anyway. Since the Valerie Plame and Lil' Kim scandals, the whole anonymity thing just aint what it used to be. What ever happened to respecting people's privacy? No longer can one speak against power and remain anonymous to protect themselves. On the other hand, there are some people getting in trouble for refusing to speak! In the laundry list of sexy screw-ups by this administration, one of the most profound but least enticing to talk about is...what we're aloud (or disallowed) to talk about.
It might not be such a big deal, without this man.
Before the big homie Deep Throat, anonymous outings weren't such a regular practice. I am amazed that there has been so little discussion on this. Then again, when you've got such great trim as WMD's, a financial crisis, trillion dollar debt, a leaky border, the Patriot Act, and Homeland Security failure (I see you Katrina) - a little thing involving Deep Throat just isn't that important.
The idea of the anonymous source has, in the past few years, been devalued more than full size SUV's...thought this post was about something else, huh? Gutter, did you know you have a mind in you?!
Anyway. Since the Valerie Plame and Lil' Kim scandals, the whole anonymity thing just aint what it used to be. What ever happened to respecting people's privacy? No longer can one speak against power and remain anonymous to protect themselves. On the other hand, there are some people getting in trouble for refusing to speak! In the laundry list of sexy screw-ups by this administration, one of the most profound but least enticing to talk about is...what we're aloud (or disallowed) to talk about.
It might not be such a big deal, without this man.
Before the big homie Deep Throat, anonymous outings weren't such a regular practice. I am amazed that there has been so little discussion on this. Then again, when you've got such great trim as WMD's, a financial crisis, trillion dollar debt, a leaky border, the Patriot Act, and Homeland Security failure (I see you Katrina) - a little thing involving Deep Throat just isn't that important.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Closing of Texas Stadium
went down like all us non-Cowboys fans hoped - with a "L." Ha, ha Cowboys fans! Your team sucks!
My only question is, where are the white shirts?
This is F*cking Worth Something!
Really Blagojevich?
Really, you running around in your tights, Gub'na, is just creepy. You look like you're getting dressed for a football game in Green Bay, really.
When I listen to you, I hear a senile, aging uncle. Really, you sound like someone's been putting peanut butter in your oatmeal, just to pull your dentures out.
So, you're telling me you've done nothing wrong? You even got my man Jesse Jackson Jr. (Triple J) backpeddling like a unicyclist. Really, I know five year olds that lie better about writing on the walls with a crayon their hand...REALLY!
You weren't set up. You knew you were under investigation. Really, do you think the fed is like a group of girls that giggle when you walk by, then tell you they're not laughing at you? They really are, and you're being watched...REALLY!!!!
Really, you running around in your tights, Gub'na, is just creepy. You look like you're getting dressed for a football game in Green Bay, really.
When I listen to you, I hear a senile, aging uncle. Really, you sound like someone's been putting peanut butter in your oatmeal, just to pull your dentures out.
So, you're telling me you've done nothing wrong? You even got my man Jesse Jackson Jr. (Triple J) backpeddling like a unicyclist. Really, I know five year olds that lie better about writing on the walls with a crayon their hand...REALLY!
You weren't set up. You knew you were under investigation. Really, do you think the fed is like a group of girls that giggle when you walk by, then tell you they're not laughing at you? They really are, and you're being watched...REALLY!!!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
There be Booty on them Thar Boats
Today, the UN passed a resolution to follow the Somali pirates on to the shores of Africa. This is a subject I've largely stayed away from, because I was "on the wrong side of the issue."
I think Cunilingus (I mean Condoleeza) Rice said it best when she stated, "It's a sympton of the instability, the instability, the poverty, the lawlessness that has plagued Somalia for decades."
Too right, Condi. As an American, I can't imagine how poor these people are. They make huts of of doodoo! SHIT! It's true, read an encyclopedia. You can't convince me this isn't an act of desepration. These doodoo hut living people see billions of dollars worth of merchandise flow through their borders every few months, yet they are living in doodoo. If I was Somalian, I'd be all like WTF? I brotha' can't even get a brick?
Like usual, no one wants to treat the symptoms, they just want to save their money. I know if I ever get pnuemonia, I'm coughing up dollar bills. Save my ass.
The most compelling part of this story is that these men are jacking super-tankers with speed boats. It makes me think of Miami Vice. Can you imagine Crockett and Tubbs on a shoestring budget jacking a super-tanker? They didn't have the organizational skills.
I'm sure there will be gun battles, swashbuckling, and mayhem soon to follow this decision by the UN. Anyone that is willing to jack a supertanker with a speed boat has balls, and they ain't about to pick today to start running. So go and get your money little Somali Pirate Boys.
I think Cunilingus (I mean Condoleeza) Rice said it best when she stated, "It's a sympton of the instability, the instability, the poverty, the lawlessness that has plagued Somalia for decades."
Too right, Condi. As an American, I can't imagine how poor these people are. They make huts of of doodoo! SHIT! It's true, read an encyclopedia. You can't convince me this isn't an act of desepration. These doodoo hut living people see billions of dollars worth of merchandise flow through their borders every few months, yet they are living in doodoo. If I was Somalian, I'd be all like WTF? I brotha' can't even get a brick?
Like usual, no one wants to treat the symptoms, they just want to save their money. I know if I ever get pnuemonia, I'm coughing up dollar bills. Save my ass.
The most compelling part of this story is that these men are jacking super-tankers with speed boats. It makes me think of Miami Vice. Can you imagine Crockett and Tubbs on a shoestring budget jacking a super-tanker? They didn't have the organizational skills.
I'm sure there will be gun battles, swashbuckling, and mayhem soon to follow this decision by the UN. Anyone that is willing to jack a supertanker with a speed boat has balls, and they ain't about to pick today to start running. So go and get your money little Somali Pirate Boys.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Week 15 NFL Preview
As predicted, Chicago beat the hapless Saints D. Even with Kyle Orton, playing like a rookie after being in the league for years, they found a way to pull off that game in the freezing cold. I didn't watch the game but luckily there was basketball on.
Atlanta v. Tampa is a microscosm of the whole season for the NFC South. Being consistently good for that conference is like Grasshopper trying to take the pebble from Master's hand. It's right there! Just grab it. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until the end of the movie to find out if it ever happens. Will the real NFC please stand up?
Washington v. Cincy can only be described as *yaaaawwwwnn*...Oh excuse me, I nearly fell asleep just talking about this game. This is the game they should have played on Thanksgiving. Between the triptophan in the turkey, this game, and the Crown the Itis would have been strong with me like the force with Anniken. I guess I pick Washington. Jim Zorn the genius and C.P. kissed and made up.
Detroit v. Indy is about as tough a game to pick - with Indy fighting for the playoffs - as the decision whether or not to wear the opposing team's gear in a Philly stadium. I don't know people that like having beer thrown on them. INDY!
S.D. v. KC simmers like a chitterling stew. Tradition that smells like crap! I have Thigpen starting on my fantasy team, but they're bad. San Diego aint that good either. I'm just banking on them having some pride playing in a divisional game. Sorry Herm...
Buffalo v. NYJ should be a fun matchup. The Jets, fighting for their playoff lives; the Bills doing the heroine lean - trying not to collapse. NYJ should make it happen. Favre does his best Pirates of the Caribbean and "rights the ship."
Seattle v. St. Louis is another yawner. What is the deal with these boring ass games? I don't know who's gonna win this sorry matchup! *flipping coin* St. Louis it is.
Frisco v. Miami has to be looked at through the eyes of someone traveling west to east. It ain't easy, esepecially when you're already not a great team. S.F. has pulled off some impressive wins as of late, but I have to think the Dolphins see this as an opportunity to solidify their opportunity at the playoffs. *over/under alert* Joey Porter causes 3 controversies...I'm taking the under.
Green Bay v. Jacksonville can only be described as two disappoing teams trying to make good. Green Bay still has a chance. Jacksonville put everything they owned in a box to the left, weeks ago. Live long and prosper, nanoo nanoo, go where Brett has gone before...
Minnesota v. Arizona gives me chills. Not for the cold in Minnesota, but for the yearning I feel burning in my gut to make a call to my bookie! Arizona's only giving three in this bad boy! Did anyone see Minny play the Lions last week? That game alone should make them a two touchdown dog.
Pittsburgh v. B-More is another icy-hot and concussion game. There is some magic in Pittsburgh that normal humans, like us, will never understand. How in the HELL did they pull that game off last week? Is Pittsburgh in Middle Earth? Is Gandolf calling plays for these fools? I like Mike Tomlin, can't stand the rest of those punks...what the hell is a Polamalu...sounds like a Mexican dish. Why don't we send him down to Mexico so the Mexicans can eat him!?
Denver v. Carolina is another game that makes people that paid for the Sunday package question their own judgment. What is up this week? Anyway, Carolina has a ground game like Bugs Bunny on his way to Albuquerque. Denver couldn't stop a clock. You gotta go with the fighting Smiths.
New England v. Oakland presents a real challenge for me. New England should destroy Oakland by all conventional wisdom. But New England has not a n'ere line backer to speak of. Who you gonna put in there, Junior Seau - the fine wine? Maybe you put in Gary Guyton - the pluck wine? Maybe you go with the emergency fill-in Roosevelt Colvin - the last minute liquour store purchased box wine. Darren McFadden could get off like a porn star on set, today. I gotta think about this some more...nah, da Raaaiidas will find a way to lose.
NYG v. Dallas could be the focus of a bad t.v. show or movie. Sunday Night Lights, Hits, or Jocks Acting Dumb all sound good. I mean, do I even care that Romo has become Mr. Ohno at the end fo the season. Can I stomach TO (the bad one) doing it again? Is Plaxico even worth my thoughts? Well, he's from the D so he gets an ignorant pass. Anyway, I guess NYG comes back from a bad loss. There was nearly no Plax talk, they could get back to business, and focus on beating Dallas' side show.
Philly v. Cleveland could be the beginning of the end for Romeo. I'm sad he couldn't find a fall guy. Then, when you're a fat black man named Romeo, you stand out. It's hard to get behind a fall guy in those circumstances. Well, I guess I can only assume the worst. I'll be rooting for the black QB Monday Night
Overall, this week is as disappointing as Southern Senators votes. I guess I'll find something else to do, this Sunday. MG told me I should be in church Sunday morning, so I'm gonna go to church. It's not First Sunday, is it? I don't want to be in there until 3 o'clock...damn preachers and their verbosity. Don't ask why the preacher talks all day and has a Cadillac! Damn pulpit pimps...yes I said it!
I'm out like fiduciary responsibility...go "buy" a Bentley!
PEACE
Atlanta v. Tampa is a microscosm of the whole season for the NFC South. Being consistently good for that conference is like Grasshopper trying to take the pebble from Master's hand. It's right there! Just grab it. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until the end of the movie to find out if it ever happens. Will the real NFC please stand up?
Washington v. Cincy can only be described as *yaaaawwwwnn*...Oh excuse me, I nearly fell asleep just talking about this game. This is the game they should have played on Thanksgiving. Between the triptophan in the turkey, this game, and the Crown the Itis would have been strong with me like the force with Anniken. I guess I pick Washington. Jim Zorn the genius and C.P. kissed and made up.
Detroit v. Indy is about as tough a game to pick - with Indy fighting for the playoffs - as the decision whether or not to wear the opposing team's gear in a Philly stadium. I don't know people that like having beer thrown on them. INDY!
S.D. v. KC simmers like a chitterling stew. Tradition that smells like crap! I have Thigpen starting on my fantasy team, but they're bad. San Diego aint that good either. I'm just banking on them having some pride playing in a divisional game. Sorry Herm...
Buffalo v. NYJ should be a fun matchup. The Jets, fighting for their playoff lives; the Bills doing the heroine lean - trying not to collapse. NYJ should make it happen. Favre does his best Pirates of the Caribbean and "rights the ship."
Seattle v. St. Louis is another yawner. What is the deal with these boring ass games? I don't know who's gonna win this sorry matchup! *flipping coin* St. Louis it is.
Frisco v. Miami has to be looked at through the eyes of someone traveling west to east. It ain't easy, esepecially when you're already not a great team. S.F. has pulled off some impressive wins as of late, but I have to think the Dolphins see this as an opportunity to solidify their opportunity at the playoffs. *over/under alert* Joey Porter causes 3 controversies...I'm taking the under.
Green Bay v. Jacksonville can only be described as two disappoing teams trying to make good. Green Bay still has a chance. Jacksonville put everything they owned in a box to the left, weeks ago. Live long and prosper, nanoo nanoo, go where Brett has gone before...
Minnesota v. Arizona gives me chills. Not for the cold in Minnesota, but for the yearning I feel burning in my gut to make a call to my bookie! Arizona's only giving three in this bad boy! Did anyone see Minny play the Lions last week? That game alone should make them a two touchdown dog.
Pittsburgh v. B-More is another icy-hot and concussion game. There is some magic in Pittsburgh that normal humans, like us, will never understand. How in the HELL did they pull that game off last week? Is Pittsburgh in Middle Earth? Is Gandolf calling plays for these fools? I like Mike Tomlin, can't stand the rest of those punks...what the hell is a Polamalu...sounds like a Mexican dish. Why don't we send him down to Mexico so the Mexicans can eat him!?
Denver v. Carolina is another game that makes people that paid for the Sunday package question their own judgment. What is up this week? Anyway, Carolina has a ground game like Bugs Bunny on his way to Albuquerque. Denver couldn't stop a clock. You gotta go with the fighting Smiths.
New England v. Oakland presents a real challenge for me. New England should destroy Oakland by all conventional wisdom. But New England has not a n'ere line backer to speak of. Who you gonna put in there, Junior Seau - the fine wine? Maybe you put in Gary Guyton - the pluck wine? Maybe you go with the emergency fill-in Roosevelt Colvin - the last minute liquour store purchased box wine. Darren McFadden could get off like a porn star on set, today. I gotta think about this some more...nah, da Raaaiidas will find a way to lose.
NYG v. Dallas could be the focus of a bad t.v. show or movie. Sunday Night Lights, Hits, or Jocks Acting Dumb all sound good. I mean, do I even care that Romo has become Mr. Ohno at the end fo the season. Can I stomach TO (the bad one) doing it again? Is Plaxico even worth my thoughts? Well, he's from the D so he gets an ignorant pass. Anyway, I guess NYG comes back from a bad loss. There was nearly no Plax talk, they could get back to business, and focus on beating Dallas' side show.
Philly v. Cleveland could be the beginning of the end for Romeo. I'm sad he couldn't find a fall guy. Then, when you're a fat black man named Romeo, you stand out. It's hard to get behind a fall guy in those circumstances. Well, I guess I can only assume the worst. I'll be rooting for the black QB Monday Night
Overall, this week is as disappointing as Southern Senators votes. I guess I'll find something else to do, this Sunday. MG told me I should be in church Sunday morning, so I'm gonna go to church. It's not First Sunday, is it? I don't want to be in there until 3 o'clock...damn preachers and their verbosity. Don't ask why the preacher talks all day and has a Cadillac! Damn pulpit pimps...yes I said it!
I'm out like fiduciary responsibility...go "buy" a Bentley!
PEACE
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
hrist
The three lucky young men going to New York for the finals of the Heisman were unveiled by Archie "The Only Man to Win Two Heismans" Griffin today.
The aforementioned were Colt McCoy from UT, Sam Bradfor from OU, and Tim Tebow from UF. This leaves the question, where's Graham Harrel?
Leaving out the Texas Tech QB is like Christmas morning without the "awesome", and "can we play it now" screams from the kids. He was a beast for 98% of the season. Did his loss to UT kill his chances? Was it the fact that he had another Heisman almost on his team? We may never know.
Side note, Stephen Colbert is hilarious.
Anyway, I wonder if the kids from Tech caravan to NY like the autoworkers did to DC for more effective lobbying. I for one, would find that hilarious. Finals will be over next week. Wait a couple of days to see your families TT students. The Fair and Balanced Report is calling on you to make this happen!
The aforementioned were Colt McCoy from UT, Sam Bradfor from OU, and Tim Tebow from UF. This leaves the question, where's Graham Harrel?
Leaving out the Texas Tech QB is like Christmas morning without the "awesome", and "can we play it now" screams from the kids. He was a beast for 98% of the season. Did his loss to UT kill his chances? Was it the fact that he had another Heisman almost on his team? We may never know.
Side note, Stephen Colbert is hilarious.
Anyway, I wonder if the kids from Tech caravan to NY like the autoworkers did to DC for more effective lobbying. I for one, would find that hilarious. Finals will be over next week. Wait a couple of days to see your families TT students. The Fair and Balanced Report is calling on you to make this happen!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Once again, under the gun I write. While driving through the mountains I made the correct decision to go with San Diego over Oakland. It's better to be lucky than good.
All I know about the Chicago Jax game is that I have Maurice Jone-Drew on my Fantasy Squad, and I want him to do well. Otherwise, I'm going with Chicago because they have something to play for and their getting the Obama bump.
Do I even have to say that I think Tenny beats Cleveland? Cleveland is so disappointing, I hear that the team mothers put them on time-out. Speaking of disappointing, what's up with your boy Plax? I'm not going to discuss this any further than to say he finally catches up with his teammates and they lose to Phila. Continuing with the theme of disappointment brings us to Detroit. Remember, this is the same team that started 6-0 last season, won all of their preason games, and has THE most talented receiver in the world! No team has ever gone 0-16, and they have the chance to do that this year. I heard that the head coach, of who's name I dare speak, held up the team picture and asked the team if they wanted this to go down in infamy to the HOF. What about you, Coach's name I don't say? What about your legacy? People will remember the team and the coach. So, I think they gets it done against the Vikes.
I don't know why I'm picking G.B. over Houston. I know Houston is resurgent and blah, blah, blah. I just think that this three team Norris race is gonna keep these kids playing hard. Plus, some of these Texans have never played in the type of cold we have here in the Midwest this week. It's so cold that Midwesties are miserable. Now, the rookie let me down last week after I put my faith in him, so out of spite I'm taking New Orleans. Well, not so much spite as the realization that rookies have never played this many games and they usually burn out in their inaugural season. So, should they only get paid 75% of what everyone else gets paid then? I'm taking this to the Player's Association.
Indy beats Cincy, you know why, I know why, even my four year old cousin that can barely put 3 coherent sentences together knows why. I love divisional matchups. Except what is this Toronto business? Why would Buffalo give up their cold ass home field advantage to play in Toronto...in a DOME? That's like 50 Cent getting into a battle of the bands competition against Tony Bennett in an old folk's home. Come on man, make it so you can compete! Speaking of competing, Devner has finally gotten their act together a little bit. In another good division matchup, I'm taking the home team. Herm's boys showed they had some respect for themselves last week, but I think their self esteem is predicated on the love of a win. They're like the strippers of the NFL.
Teams usually don't travel well coast-to-coast but NYJ smells blood in the AFC East, and they want that title!! Well, Brett wants that title to prove that he's good enough, he's young enough, and damnit, people like him!! St. Louis goes to Arizona and comes back with falling arches. I'll send some girls to meet them at the airport with Dr. Scholls. I love to see when team's chances are reduced to nothing, so go Pittsburgh. This will be the only time I TRULY will be rooting for the Steelers this year. Then, I can watch all of the Cowboys lovers search for the playoffs like contact lenses slapped out of someone's eye while playing weekend hoops.
I love the lights!!! Sunday night, the battle of the Beltway ensues with Washington heading 30 minutes north to take on B-Mizzle. I don't assume to know who's going to win this game, but I do know this...Baltimore has the better adult entertainment, and thus they'll be more tired and "worn out." So, on my completely irrational and non-sensical pick of the week, I'm taking Washington. It's a shame I've already used up my two non-sensical picks as I have NO clue who's winning against T.B and Caro. I like Julius Peppers and violent man Smith, so I'm going with them. This game should be more fun to watch than predict...what a rarity.
I'm out like the Somali pirates are with your cargo.
PEACE!!
All I know about the Chicago Jax game is that I have Maurice Jone-Drew on my Fantasy Squad, and I want him to do well. Otherwise, I'm going with Chicago because they have something to play for and their getting the Obama bump.
Do I even have to say that I think Tenny beats Cleveland? Cleveland is so disappointing, I hear that the team mothers put them on time-out. Speaking of disappointing, what's up with your boy Plax? I'm not going to discuss this any further than to say he finally catches up with his teammates and they lose to Phila. Continuing with the theme of disappointment brings us to Detroit. Remember, this is the same team that started 6-0 last season, won all of their preason games, and has THE most talented receiver in the world! No team has ever gone 0-16, and they have the chance to do that this year. I heard that the head coach, of who's name I dare speak, held up the team picture and asked the team if they wanted this to go down in infamy to the HOF. What about you, Coach's name I don't say? What about your legacy? People will remember the team and the coach. So, I think they gets it done against the Vikes.
I don't know why I'm picking G.B. over Houston. I know Houston is resurgent and blah, blah, blah. I just think that this three team Norris race is gonna keep these kids playing hard. Plus, some of these Texans have never played in the type of cold we have here in the Midwest this week. It's so cold that Midwesties are miserable. Now, the rookie let me down last week after I put my faith in him, so out of spite I'm taking New Orleans. Well, not so much spite as the realization that rookies have never played this many games and they usually burn out in their inaugural season. So, should they only get paid 75% of what everyone else gets paid then? I'm taking this to the Player's Association.
Indy beats Cincy, you know why, I know why, even my four year old cousin that can barely put 3 coherent sentences together knows why. I love divisional matchups. Except what is this Toronto business? Why would Buffalo give up their cold ass home field advantage to play in Toronto...in a DOME? That's like 50 Cent getting into a battle of the bands competition against Tony Bennett in an old folk's home. Come on man, make it so you can compete! Speaking of competing, Devner has finally gotten their act together a little bit. In another good division matchup, I'm taking the home team. Herm's boys showed they had some respect for themselves last week, but I think their self esteem is predicated on the love of a win. They're like the strippers of the NFL.
Teams usually don't travel well coast-to-coast but NYJ smells blood in the AFC East, and they want that title!! Well, Brett wants that title to prove that he's good enough, he's young enough, and damnit, people like him!! St. Louis goes to Arizona and comes back with falling arches. I'll send some girls to meet them at the airport with Dr. Scholls. I love to see when team's chances are reduced to nothing, so go Pittsburgh. This will be the only time I TRULY will be rooting for the Steelers this year. Then, I can watch all of the Cowboys lovers search for the playoffs like contact lenses slapped out of someone's eye while playing weekend hoops.
I love the lights!!! Sunday night, the battle of the Beltway ensues with Washington heading 30 minutes north to take on B-Mizzle. I don't assume to know who's going to win this game, but I do know this...Baltimore has the better adult entertainment, and thus they'll be more tired and "worn out." So, on my completely irrational and non-sensical pick of the week, I'm taking Washington. It's a shame I've already used up my two non-sensical picks as I have NO clue who's winning against T.B and Caro. I like Julius Peppers and violent man Smith, so I'm going with them. This game should be more fun to watch than predict...what a rarity.
I'm out like the Somali pirates are with your cargo.
PEACE!!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Back from the Southwest
Alright folks, I'm back from Vegas and Phoenix. I must say, I miss the weather. When I left Detroit, it was snowing; when I got back to Detroit it was snowing...booo! What up to the 12th D Ques! I had a great time cracking jokes, watching sports and hanging out. There's no place like home.
Since then, the auto execs have been splayed out in front of Congress like a hustler photo shoot; O.J. goes to jail; and the job report turns uglier than a late night hook-up after the drinks wear off. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted just typing this out. I want to stop and take a breath, but I'm resilient because I'm an American. *flag waving.
The auto execs finally made a decent case to Congress. I hope all of this results in bringing them back to profitability. As a resident of Detroit, I especially hope that jobs remain in this region. Simply because I was worried about getting robbed before this crisis - the violence has only gotten worse. Anyway, I would prefer to focus on the profitability aspect.
I have a cure for this. Instead of appointing a "Car Czar" or House oversight committee, why doesn't Congress enact tariffs on foreign automobiles like they do ours? If not that, then we should make them ship vehicles here, like we have to do in Japan. If not that, we need to make the market share ratios equitable. Did you know that the number one automaker only sells about 10,000 vehicles in to Japan, annually? How does that make sense? Especially when we know that the Japanese LOVE American made automobiles. Anyway, we should also offer a tax credit to any American that buys American. Why this is a novel idea is beyond me, but Americans - as ridiculous as this sounds - need to be enticed to come back to American products. For the first time in years, the top-selling American mid-size cars have better quality ratings than their Japanese counterparts, so don't give me that "American cars suck" b.s. I dare you to go to www.autos.yahoo.com/newcars/reliability/results.html and compare the Ford Fusion and Chevrolet Malibu to the Honda Accord and Toyota Camry.
Surprised? Well, don't be. If you've been paying any attention, at all, to what has been going on in Congress the past couple of weeks, you would know that for the past few years the American automakers have been making quality a top priority. I know, it can be tough to go back to something that has lost your trust. It's as if your girlfriend has cheated on you repeatedly, goes to sex addiction therapy, then comes back asking for forgiveness. I get it; it's not so easy to just say you love her again. If you go back to her, your boys may laugh at you, call you a punk, and maybe you think your new chick fits you better. The only problem is, if you keep dating this new chick your house may get robbed and your taxes will certainly go up. So go ahead, and get back in to bed with your ex. I promise, it'll hurt less than you think.
So, O.J.'s going to jail. The sentence sounds harsh, but the man was facing life and could eventually get as little as six - or even probation. O.J. wins again. How he does it, I'll never know. Anyway, I'm sick of any news O.J. related so I'm going to just leave this one alone.
Lastly, the jobs market shrank by 533,000 jobs. Yes it's true, over a half million jobs were lost in one month. We're back to 1974 levels of job losses, and the outlook is even more bleak. Economists (who would never get anything wrong *wink) say that December is going to be even worse - even worse! We lost 20,000 jobs in one day, yet people are dying over Nintendo Wiis. Does any of that sound odd to you?
I was also noticing that I haven't seen a Career Builder, Monster, or Ladders comemrcial in weeks. It's so bad out there, the job search companies aren't advertising when they know at least a half million people will be looking for a new job! In my estimation, this is the succession of events. We have a housing bubble burst, spurred on by sub-prime loans and people buying homes they can't afford. That causes the banks to go under, becuase they sell derivatives of those bad loans at historic losses. Then, the stock market goes to hell as people start jumping ship because they see the tumult coming. At the same time credit dries up, so people can't make purchases. The automotive industry, housing industry, and retail take huge hits as a result. We've already discussed the problems of the auto industry but that irony is only just beginning. The housing industry that caused this recession is now in decline again, with more than 10% of all homeowners in default or delinquency. That means that regular folks (not sub-primers) are now in as bad a shape as risky borrowers. Today I'm hearing states are going broke. No, not states of mind or states of affairs, but actual STATES!!!! After all of this, I can't even go on Career builder and find a new job.
On a lighter note, Jon Forte is getting out of jail. Yes. Jon Forte of Fugees fame is coming home. Maybe he can talk Lauryn Hill down from crazy, and they they can make an album.
Since then, the auto execs have been splayed out in front of Congress like a hustler photo shoot; O.J. goes to jail; and the job report turns uglier than a late night hook-up after the drinks wear off. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted just typing this out. I want to stop and take a breath, but I'm resilient because I'm an American. *flag waving.
The auto execs finally made a decent case to Congress. I hope all of this results in bringing them back to profitability. As a resident of Detroit, I especially hope that jobs remain in this region. Simply because I was worried about getting robbed before this crisis - the violence has only gotten worse. Anyway, I would prefer to focus on the profitability aspect.
I have a cure for this. Instead of appointing a "Car Czar" or House oversight committee, why doesn't Congress enact tariffs on foreign automobiles like they do ours? If not that, then we should make them ship vehicles here, like we have to do in Japan. If not that, we need to make the market share ratios equitable. Did you know that the number one automaker only sells about 10,000 vehicles in to Japan, annually? How does that make sense? Especially when we know that the Japanese LOVE American made automobiles. Anyway, we should also offer a tax credit to any American that buys American. Why this is a novel idea is beyond me, but Americans - as ridiculous as this sounds - need to be enticed to come back to American products. For the first time in years, the top-selling American mid-size cars have better quality ratings than their Japanese counterparts, so don't give me that "American cars suck" b.s. I dare you to go to www.autos.yahoo.com/newcars/reliability/results.html and compare the Ford Fusion and Chevrolet Malibu to the Honda Accord and Toyota Camry.
Surprised? Well, don't be. If you've been paying any attention, at all, to what has been going on in Congress the past couple of weeks, you would know that for the past few years the American automakers have been making quality a top priority. I know, it can be tough to go back to something that has lost your trust. It's as if your girlfriend has cheated on you repeatedly, goes to sex addiction therapy, then comes back asking for forgiveness. I get it; it's not so easy to just say you love her again. If you go back to her, your boys may laugh at you, call you a punk, and maybe you think your new chick fits you better. The only problem is, if you keep dating this new chick your house may get robbed and your taxes will certainly go up. So go ahead, and get back in to bed with your ex. I promise, it'll hurt less than you think.
So, O.J.'s going to jail. The sentence sounds harsh, but the man was facing life and could eventually get as little as six - or even probation. O.J. wins again. How he does it, I'll never know. Anyway, I'm sick of any news O.J. related so I'm going to just leave this one alone.
Lastly, the jobs market shrank by 533,000 jobs. Yes it's true, over a half million jobs were lost in one month. We're back to 1974 levels of job losses, and the outlook is even more bleak. Economists (who would never get anything wrong *wink) say that December is going to be even worse - even worse! We lost 20,000 jobs in one day, yet people are dying over Nintendo Wiis. Does any of that sound odd to you?
I was also noticing that I haven't seen a Career Builder, Monster, or Ladders comemrcial in weeks. It's so bad out there, the job search companies aren't advertising when they know at least a half million people will be looking for a new job! In my estimation, this is the succession of events. We have a housing bubble burst, spurred on by sub-prime loans and people buying homes they can't afford. That causes the banks to go under, becuase they sell derivatives of those bad loans at historic losses. Then, the stock market goes to hell as people start jumping ship because they see the tumult coming. At the same time credit dries up, so people can't make purchases. The automotive industry, housing industry, and retail take huge hits as a result. We've already discussed the problems of the auto industry but that irony is only just beginning. The housing industry that caused this recession is now in decline again, with more than 10% of all homeowners in default or delinquency. That means that regular folks (not sub-primers) are now in as bad a shape as risky borrowers. Today I'm hearing states are going broke. No, not states of mind or states of affairs, but actual STATES!!!! After all of this, I can't even go on Career builder and find a new job.
On a lighter note, Jon Forte is getting out of jail. Yes. Jon Forte of Fugees fame is coming home. Maybe he can talk Lauryn Hill down from crazy, and they they can make an album.
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