What has the world come to? Have we entered the age when we can't trust a house full of random people we don't know to not take pictures of us with their camera phones and sell them to the tabloids? I seriously want to know who the clown was, that sent the picture of Michael Phelps taking bong rips, to the paper.
Honestly, you're some random jack off in South Carolina. What is the coolest thing that has ever happened in South Carolina? I'm going to guess it's a 12 time gold medalist partying with you backwood, english destroying, confederate flag waving, never to have a star party with you again - hicks. Let's at least hope this person won the equivalent of the megamillion lottery for sending this picture in to that London rag. If they didn't, what was the point?
If that person didn't come up, then hating has hit a remarkable and unprecedented professional level. There was a time when haters just hated. They might disparage you behind your back. They might even be so bold as to tell you, to your face, that you were insane or never going to accomplish your goals. Haters going to the press with their hate is too damn much hate!
Then, Kelloggs hates by dropping Phelps. Word?! Kellogg's...Kellogg's...I'm going to think about how to phrase this. Do you realize how consistent it is with your image that your spokesperson is taking bong rips? He is the spokesperson for Frosted Flakes, for crying out loud!! Frosted Flakes are the stoner equivalent of a royal rumble at a 12 year old boy's birthday slumber party - inextricably linked.
Even your website is a high man's heaven. Have you ever taken a look at your top recipes? You boast Double Coated Chicken, Crispix Mix, Chocolate Scotheroos, and Good and Spicy Meatballs, to name a few items. These recipes are considered required literature in the Blaze Academy. How dare you drop him, you haters?
Finally, the biggest haters of all - cable news. Yes, I understand you make it your business to hate, pass judgement, and generally numb the minds of your viewing audience with your incessant coverage of meaningless junk; but you were one of the biggest reasons for all of this outrage. The U.S. Swimming Association and Phelps' sponsors had basically forgiven him for his "transgression." Thanks to your consistent outcries and coverage, we saw the equivalent of what happens in Vegas definitely NOT staying in Vegas - to the tune of millions in sponsorship and time in the pool. This man is a hero so he had to fall, right? Because of you, cable news, every famous person has to live every moment like a saint, lest they want to conjure the wrath of the most worthless entity to hit the media since C-Span 17 or E!
Haters have got to go. It is finally time for the least of us to be banished to obscurity. How can this be done? We pay no attention to them. If you have any realness in your body, you must resist the urge to listen to, agree with, give credence, or any consideration to the black hole that is the hater's abyss of negativity. Join me! Get closer to God by rejecting all bitch ass-ness. Bring back the tides of good will, participation, and congradulations amongst the winners of the world. Remember, you don't have to bring someone down to raise yourself up. If you really think that way, then welcome to the reason you are where you are now. Change your mindstate, not the perception of some else's greatness. Your soul will thank you for it.
