Once again, under the gun I write. While driving through the mountains I made the correct decision to go with San Diego over Oakland. It's better to be lucky than good.

All I know about the Chicago Jax game is that I have Maurice Jone-Drew on my Fantasy Squad, and I want him to do well. Otherwise, I'm going with Chicago because they have something to play for and their getting the Obama bump.

Do I even have to say that I think Tenny beats Cleveland? Cleveland is so disappointing, I hear that the team mothers put them on time-out. Speaking of disappointing, what's up with your boy Plax? I'm not going to discuss this any further than to say he finally catches up with his teammates and they lose to Phila. Continuing with the theme of disappointment brings us to Detroit. Remember, this is the same team that started 6-0 last season, won all of their preason games, and has THE most talented receiver in the world! No team has ever gone 0-16, and they have the chance to do that this year. I heard that the head coach, of who's name I dare speak, held up the team picture and asked the team if they wanted this to go down in infamy to the HOF. What about you, Coach's name I don't say? What about your legacy? People will remember the team and the coach. So, I think they gets it done against the Vikes.

I don't know why I'm picking G.B. over Houston. I know Houston is resurgent and blah, blah, blah. I just think that this three team Norris race is gonna keep these kids playing hard. Plus, some of these Texans have never played in the type of cold we have here in the Midwest this week. It's so cold that Midwesties are miserable. Now, the rookie let me down last week after I put my faith in him, so out of spite I'm taking New Orleans. Well, not so much spite as the realization that rookies have never played this many games and they usually burn out in their inaugural season. So, should they only get paid 75% of what everyone else gets paid then? I'm taking this to the Player's Association.

Indy beats Cincy, you know why, I know why, even my four year old cousin that can barely put 3 coherent sentences together knows why. I love divisional matchups. Except what is this Toronto business? Why would Buffalo give up their cold ass home field advantage to play in Toronto...in a DOME? That's like 50 Cent getting into a battle of the bands competition against Tony Bennett in an old folk's home. Come on man, make it so you can compete! Speaking of competing, Devner has finally gotten their act together a little bit. In another good division matchup, I'm taking the home team. Herm's boys showed they had some respect for themselves last week, but I think their self esteem is predicated on the love of a win. They're like the strippers of the NFL.

Teams usually don't travel well coast-to-coast but NYJ smells blood in the AFC East, and they want that title!! Well, Brett wants that title to prove that he's good enough, he's young enough, and damnit, people like him!! St. Louis goes to Arizona and comes back with falling arches. I'll send some girls to meet them at the airport with Dr. Scholls. I love to see when team's chances are reduced to nothing, so go Pittsburgh. This will be the only time I TRULY will be rooting for the Steelers this year. Then, I can watch all of the Cowboys lovers search for the playoffs like contact lenses slapped out of someone's eye while playing weekend hoops.

I love the lights!!! Sunday night, the battle of the Beltway ensues with Washington heading 30 minutes north to take on B-Mizzle. I don't assume to know who's going to win this game, but I do know this...Baltimore has the better adult entertainment, and thus they'll be more tired and "worn out." So, on my completely irrational and non-sensical pick of the week, I'm taking Washington. It's a shame I've already used up my two non-sensical picks as I have NO clue who's winning against T.B and Caro. I like Julius Peppers and violent man Smith, so I'm going with them. This game should be more fun to watch than predict...what a rarity.

I'm out like the Somali pirates are with your cargo.

PEACE!!