Week 13 NFL Preview

Okay, so I've only got three minutes to write this before it's late. So here goes my best speed typing (and thinking).

Turkey Day, for the day we fill ourselves with goodies, was conversely the most unfulfilling football day ever. Ba Humbug to bad Turkey Day football games!!! Detroit, I love ya but this is just not working out. Maybe we should just be friends. I think your family's house for Thanksgiving every year is just too much commitment.

Buffalo keeps their playoff hopes alive.

Baltimore beats Cincy like they owe them money.

Indy is on a roll...good for you, Tony!

G.B. and Caro...*psst...lean in*. I actually have no clue about this game. I hope G.B. pulls it out though.

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!! Plus, Cutler was talking some serious smack this week. Not smart, buddy...

I wanna see Joey Porter do a C-Walk all over Steven Jackson's helmet. Then he'll go on PTI and say he was disrespected when Steven wouldn't cut his hair.

What the hell is going on in NY? My man Plexiglass is really tripping. He's like a bad season of As the World Turns, or Dallas. They still win, despite his chicacanery.

For the 13 game, you think I would be more sure, but I switched this last minute. Its just, I'm afraid because whenever I bet on rookies they let me down.

Finally, Pittsburgh breaks through on New England. The first time you get Dad in driveway hoops is nice too. Then you run inside and get grape Kool Aid from Mom...memories.

New Orleans somehow still finds ways to lose, even though they go for 700-plus yards on offense. How IS that? They do the same thing again, as the still playing Barber brother goes for another pick six.

Oakland is looking alright lately. I think they have some pride, whereas the Chiefs players are just collecting checks at this point.

Can you name 5 players on Minnesota's team not named Adrian Peterson? Me neither, but who cares. Someone, literally, needs to check his DNA for traces of "beast."

Finally, the most disappointing team in the land goes too....Jacksonville!!!

Good luck, hope your pants still fit. I'm out - like the store you waited in line 5 hours to get a Nintendo Wii is - as soon as you get to the register.

PEACE!