Pro-Life No More!!!

It has come to my attention that there are more than a few young people that did not - I repeat - did not vote for President-Elect Barack Obama because of the abortion issue. They were willing to vote for someone that they had no faith, connection, or trust in because they thought that man would be anti-abortion. Even though his prior record states that he was pretty much against it until he needed to win the GOP nomination...I'm talking to you Mr. McCain. I SAID, I'M TALKING TO YOU MR. McCAIN!!! When you're on his left side you have to shout, sorry about that everyone else.

That is commitment. I mean, to vote against the person that you think will run the country best over one issue that will probably never be repealed is ludicrous. So, the thought occured to me...

*lightbulb over head.

What would it take to move a pro-lifer off of their position; make them pivot, so to speak?

Maybe if we were made slaves by aliens and they had to have alien babies they'd be pro-choice. Nah, that's not feasible.

Maybe if God himelf came down and was like, "stop trippin.' Nobody's going to hell for abortion." Nah, the lack of burning bushes in the last 2,000 years makes me think that's unlikely too.

I've got it. It's been right there the whole time. I know how to get these people out of women's uterises...uteri...whatever the plural for uteris is.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Okay, all pro-lifers should be made to adopt all of the unwanted babies. Each pro-life couple, by law, must be made to adopt a child from an unfit, unwed, or unwilling mother - no exceptions.

Let's see how committed they are when they have to take care of all of these unwanted lil' heathens. Yes, I said it! They would be jumping ship quicker than women and children on the Titanic. Pro-Life laws MIGHT last one generation. Then, we'd see an exodus like Jews leaving Egypt, or Europe, or the welfare rolls.

In 2005, 1.21 million abortions were performed. There were only 13,000 adoptions. A staggering 37% of abortions were performed on black women, and 22% on Hispanic women. Meanwhile 19.3% of adopted babies came from white women and only 1.5% from black women.

These statistics tell me that there would be a dispraportionate number of black and hispanic babies released into the population were abortion made illegal. Yet, they are adopted at a lower rate than the Fed has put on interest! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Tragic. Deplorable. Sadly, realer than bad hip-hop (shouts out to Instant Vintage).

Being that the GOP is the Pro-Life party, and they receive less than 2% of the black vote and 30% of the hispanic vote, I dare say the pro-lifers are mostly middle class to affluent whites. I'm sure someone will have something to say about this, but let's see how many of these pro-lifers are willing to raise little Du'Quan or Guadalupe. I'll go out on a limb and say, not that many. This would raise the need for public child-rearing programs and subsequently, taxes. Something the Good Ol' GOP doesn't like either.

There, it's fixed. Let's make abortion illegal and enact a law that says all people voting for it has to take a baby in five years. In 10 years we'll never have to worry about this law again.