As predicted, Chicago beat the hapless Saints D. Even with Kyle Orton, playing like a rookie after being in the league for years, they found a way to pull off that game in the freezing cold. I didn't watch the game but luckily there was basketball on.
Atlanta v. Tampa is a microscosm of the whole season for the NFC South. Being consistently good for that conference is like Grasshopper trying to take the pebble from Master's hand. It's right there! Just grab it. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until the end of the movie to find out if it ever happens. Will the real NFC please stand up?
Washington v. Cincy can only be described as *yaaaawwwwnn*...Oh excuse me, I nearly fell asleep just talking about this game. This is the game they should have played on Thanksgiving. Between the triptophan in the turkey, this game, and the Crown the Itis would have been strong with me like the force with Anniken. I guess I pick Washington. Jim Zorn the genius and C.P. kissed and made up.
Detroit v. Indy is about as tough a game to pick - with Indy fighting for the playoffs - as the decision whether or not to wear the opposing team's gear in a Philly stadium. I don't know people that like having beer thrown on them. INDY!
S.D. v. KC simmers like a chitterling stew. Tradition that smells like crap! I have Thigpen starting on my fantasy team, but they're bad. San Diego aint that good either. I'm just banking on them having some pride playing in a divisional game. Sorry Herm...
Buffalo v. NYJ should be a fun matchup. The Jets, fighting for their playoff lives; the Bills doing the heroine lean - trying not to collapse. NYJ should make it happen. Favre does his best Pirates of the Caribbean and "rights the ship."
Seattle v. St. Louis is another yawner. What is the deal with these boring ass games? I don't know who's gonna win this sorry matchup! *flipping coin* St. Louis it is.
Frisco v. Miami has to be looked at through the eyes of someone traveling west to east. It ain't easy, esepecially when you're already not a great team. S.F. has pulled off some impressive wins as of late, but I have to think the Dolphins see this as an opportunity to solidify their opportunity at the playoffs. *over/under alert* Joey Porter causes 3 controversies...I'm taking the under.
Green Bay v. Jacksonville can only be described as two disappoing teams trying to make good. Green Bay still has a chance. Jacksonville put everything they owned in a box to the left, weeks ago. Live long and prosper, nanoo nanoo, go where Brett has gone before...
Minnesota v. Arizona gives me chills. Not for the cold in Minnesota, but for the yearning I feel burning in my gut to make a call to my bookie! Arizona's only giving three in this bad boy! Did anyone see Minny play the Lions last week? That game alone should make them a two touchdown dog.
Pittsburgh v. B-More is another icy-hot and concussion game. There is some magic in Pittsburgh that normal humans, like us, will never understand. How in the HELL did they pull that game off last week? Is Pittsburgh in Middle Earth? Is Gandolf calling plays for these fools? I like Mike Tomlin, can't stand the rest of those punks...what the hell is a Polamalu...sounds like a Mexican dish. Why don't we send him down to Mexico so the Mexicans can eat him!?
Denver v. Carolina is another game that makes people that paid for the Sunday package question their own judgment. What is up this week? Anyway, Carolina has a ground game like Bugs Bunny on his way to Albuquerque. Denver couldn't stop a clock. You gotta go with the fighting Smiths.
New England v. Oakland presents a real challenge for me. New England should destroy Oakland by all conventional wisdom. But New England has not a n'ere line backer to speak of. Who you gonna put in there, Junior Seau - the fine wine? Maybe you put in Gary Guyton - the pluck wine? Maybe you go with the emergency fill-in Roosevelt Colvin - the last minute liquour store purchased box wine. Darren McFadden could get off like a porn star on set, today. I gotta think about this some more...nah, da Raaaiidas will find a way to lose.
NYG v. Dallas could be the focus of a bad t.v. show or movie. Sunday Night Lights, Hits, or Jocks Acting Dumb all sound good. I mean, do I even care that Romo has become Mr. Ohno at the end fo the season. Can I stomach TO (the bad one) doing it again? Is Plaxico even worth my thoughts? Well, he's from the D so he gets an ignorant pass. Anyway, I guess NYG comes back from a bad loss. There was nearly no Plax talk, they could get back to business, and focus on beating Dallas' side show.
Philly v. Cleveland could be the beginning of the end for Romeo. I'm sad he couldn't find a fall guy. Then, when you're a fat black man named Romeo, you stand out. It's hard to get behind a fall guy in those circumstances. Well, I guess I can only assume the worst. I'll be rooting for the black QB Monday Night
Overall, this week is as disappointing as Southern Senators votes. I guess I'll find something else to do, this Sunday. MG told me I should be in church Sunday morning, so I'm gonna go to church. It's not First Sunday, is it? I don't want to be in there until 3 o'clock...damn preachers and their verbosity. Don't ask why the preacher talks all day and has a Cadillac! Damn pulpit pimps...yes I said it!
I'm out like fiduciary responsibility...go "buy" a Bentley!
PEACE
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
hrist
The three lucky young men going to New York for the finals of the Heisman were unveiled by Archie "The Only Man to Win Two Heismans" Griffin today.
The aforementioned were Colt McCoy from UT, Sam Bradfor from OU, and Tim Tebow from UF. This leaves the question, where's Graham Harrel?
Leaving out the Texas Tech QB is like Christmas morning without the "awesome", and "can we play it now" screams from the kids. He was a beast for 98% of the season. Did his loss to UT kill his chances? Was it the fact that he had another Heisman almost on his team? We may never know.
Side note, Stephen Colbert is hilarious.
Anyway, I wonder if the kids from Tech caravan to NY like the autoworkers did to DC for more effective lobbying. I for one, would find that hilarious. Finals will be over next week. Wait a couple of days to see your families TT students. The Fair and Balanced Report is calling on you to make this happen!
The aforementioned were Colt McCoy from UT, Sam Bradfor from OU, and Tim Tebow from UF. This leaves the question, where's Graham Harrel?
Leaving out the Texas Tech QB is like Christmas morning without the "awesome", and "can we play it now" screams from the kids. He was a beast for 98% of the season. Did his loss to UT kill his chances? Was it the fact that he had another Heisman almost on his team? We may never know.
Side note, Stephen Colbert is hilarious.
Anyway, I wonder if the kids from Tech caravan to NY like the autoworkers did to DC for more effective lobbying. I for one, would find that hilarious. Finals will be over next week. Wait a couple of days to see your families TT students. The Fair and Balanced Report is calling on you to make this happen!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Once again, under the gun I write. While driving through the mountains I made the correct decision to go with San Diego over Oakland. It's better to be lucky than good.
All I know about the Chicago Jax game is that I have Maurice Jone-Drew on my Fantasy Squad, and I want him to do well. Otherwise, I'm going with Chicago because they have something to play for and their getting the Obama bump.
Do I even have to say that I think Tenny beats Cleveland? Cleveland is so disappointing, I hear that the team mothers put them on time-out. Speaking of disappointing, what's up with your boy Plax? I'm not going to discuss this any further than to say he finally catches up with his teammates and they lose to Phila. Continuing with the theme of disappointment brings us to Detroit. Remember, this is the same team that started 6-0 last season, won all of their preason games, and has THE most talented receiver in the world! No team has ever gone 0-16, and they have the chance to do that this year. I heard that the head coach, of who's name I dare speak, held up the team picture and asked the team if they wanted this to go down in infamy to the HOF. What about you, Coach's name I don't say? What about your legacy? People will remember the team and the coach. So, I think they gets it done against the Vikes.
I don't know why I'm picking G.B. over Houston. I know Houston is resurgent and blah, blah, blah. I just think that this three team Norris race is gonna keep these kids playing hard. Plus, some of these Texans have never played in the type of cold we have here in the Midwest this week. It's so cold that Midwesties are miserable. Now, the rookie let me down last week after I put my faith in him, so out of spite I'm taking New Orleans. Well, not so much spite as the realization that rookies have never played this many games and they usually burn out in their inaugural season. So, should they only get paid 75% of what everyone else gets paid then? I'm taking this to the Player's Association.
Indy beats Cincy, you know why, I know why, even my four year old cousin that can barely put 3 coherent sentences together knows why. I love divisional matchups. Except what is this Toronto business? Why would Buffalo give up their cold ass home field advantage to play in Toronto...in a DOME? That's like 50 Cent getting into a battle of the bands competition against Tony Bennett in an old folk's home. Come on man, make it so you can compete! Speaking of competing, Devner has finally gotten their act together a little bit. In another good division matchup, I'm taking the home team. Herm's boys showed they had some respect for themselves last week, but I think their self esteem is predicated on the love of a win. They're like the strippers of the NFL.
Teams usually don't travel well coast-to-coast but NYJ smells blood in the AFC East, and they want that title!! Well, Brett wants that title to prove that he's good enough, he's young enough, and damnit, people like him!! St. Louis goes to Arizona and comes back with falling arches. I'll send some girls to meet them at the airport with Dr. Scholls. I love to see when team's chances are reduced to nothing, so go Pittsburgh. This will be the only time I TRULY will be rooting for the Steelers this year. Then, I can watch all of the Cowboys lovers search for the playoffs like contact lenses slapped out of someone's eye while playing weekend hoops.
I love the lights!!! Sunday night, the battle of the Beltway ensues with Washington heading 30 minutes north to take on B-Mizzle. I don't assume to know who's going to win this game, but I do know this...Baltimore has the better adult entertainment, and thus they'll be more tired and "worn out." So, on my completely irrational and non-sensical pick of the week, I'm taking Washington. It's a shame I've already used up my two non-sensical picks as I have NO clue who's winning against T.B and Caro. I like Julius Peppers and violent man Smith, so I'm going with them. This game should be more fun to watch than predict...what a rarity.
I'm out like the Somali pirates are with your cargo.
PEACE!!
All I know about the Chicago Jax game is that I have Maurice Jone-Drew on my Fantasy Squad, and I want him to do well. Otherwise, I'm going with Chicago because they have something to play for and their getting the Obama bump.
Do I even have to say that I think Tenny beats Cleveland? Cleveland is so disappointing, I hear that the team mothers put them on time-out. Speaking of disappointing, what's up with your boy Plax? I'm not going to discuss this any further than to say he finally catches up with his teammates and they lose to Phila. Continuing with the theme of disappointment brings us to Detroit. Remember, this is the same team that started 6-0 last season, won all of their preason games, and has THE most talented receiver in the world! No team has ever gone 0-16, and they have the chance to do that this year. I heard that the head coach, of who's name I dare speak, held up the team picture and asked the team if they wanted this to go down in infamy to the HOF. What about you, Coach's name I don't say? What about your legacy? People will remember the team and the coach. So, I think they gets it done against the Vikes.
I don't know why I'm picking G.B. over Houston. I know Houston is resurgent and blah, blah, blah. I just think that this three team Norris race is gonna keep these kids playing hard. Plus, some of these Texans have never played in the type of cold we have here in the Midwest this week. It's so cold that Midwesties are miserable. Now, the rookie let me down last week after I put my faith in him, so out of spite I'm taking New Orleans. Well, not so much spite as the realization that rookies have never played this many games and they usually burn out in their inaugural season. So, should they only get paid 75% of what everyone else gets paid then? I'm taking this to the Player's Association.
Indy beats Cincy, you know why, I know why, even my four year old cousin that can barely put 3 coherent sentences together knows why. I love divisional matchups. Except what is this Toronto business? Why would Buffalo give up their cold ass home field advantage to play in Toronto...in a DOME? That's like 50 Cent getting into a battle of the bands competition against Tony Bennett in an old folk's home. Come on man, make it so you can compete! Speaking of competing, Devner has finally gotten their act together a little bit. In another good division matchup, I'm taking the home team. Herm's boys showed they had some respect for themselves last week, but I think their self esteem is predicated on the love of a win. They're like the strippers of the NFL.
Teams usually don't travel well coast-to-coast but NYJ smells blood in the AFC East, and they want that title!! Well, Brett wants that title to prove that he's good enough, he's young enough, and damnit, people like him!! St. Louis goes to Arizona and comes back with falling arches. I'll send some girls to meet them at the airport with Dr. Scholls. I love to see when team's chances are reduced to nothing, so go Pittsburgh. This will be the only time I TRULY will be rooting for the Steelers this year. Then, I can watch all of the Cowboys lovers search for the playoffs like contact lenses slapped out of someone's eye while playing weekend hoops.
I love the lights!!! Sunday night, the battle of the Beltway ensues with Washington heading 30 minutes north to take on B-Mizzle. I don't assume to know who's going to win this game, but I do know this...Baltimore has the better adult entertainment, and thus they'll be more tired and "worn out." So, on my completely irrational and non-sensical pick of the week, I'm taking Washington. It's a shame I've already used up my two non-sensical picks as I have NO clue who's winning against T.B and Caro. I like Julius Peppers and violent man Smith, so I'm going with them. This game should be more fun to watch than predict...what a rarity.
I'm out like the Somali pirates are with your cargo.
PEACE!!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Week 13 NFL Preview
Okay, so I've only got three minutes to write this before it's late. So here goes my best speed typing (and thinking).
Turkey Day, for the day we fill ourselves with goodies, was conversely the most unfulfilling football day ever. Ba Humbug to bad Turkey Day football games!!! Detroit, I love ya but this is just not working out. Maybe we should just be friends. I think your family's house for Thanksgiving every year is just too much commitment.
Buffalo keeps their playoff hopes alive.
Baltimore beats Cincy like they owe them money.
Indy is on a roll...good for you, Tony!
G.B. and Caro...*psst...lean in*. I actually have no clue about this game. I hope G.B. pulls it out though.
J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!! Plus, Cutler was talking some serious smack this week. Not smart, buddy...
I wanna see Joey Porter do a C-Walk all over Steven Jackson's helmet. Then he'll go on PTI and say he was disrespected when Steven wouldn't cut his hair.
What the hell is going on in NY? My man Plexiglass is really tripping. He's like a bad season of As the World Turns, or Dallas. They still win, despite his chicacanery.
For the 13 game, you think I would be more sure, but I switched this last minute. Its just, I'm afraid because whenever I bet on rookies they let me down.
Finally, Pittsburgh breaks through on New England. The first time you get Dad in driveway hoops is nice too. Then you run inside and get grape Kool Aid from Mom...memories.
New Orleans somehow still finds ways to lose, even though they go for 700-plus yards on offense. How IS that? They do the same thing again, as the still playing Barber brother goes for another pick six.
Oakland is looking alright lately. I think they have some pride, whereas the Chiefs players are just collecting checks at this point.
Can you name 5 players on Minnesota's team not named Adrian Peterson? Me neither, but who cares. Someone, literally, needs to check his DNA for traces of "beast."
Finally, the most disappointing team in the land goes too....Jacksonville!!!
Good luck, hope your pants still fit. I'm out - like the store you waited in line 5 hours to get a Nintendo Wii is - as soon as you get to the register.
PEACE!
Turkey Day, for the day we fill ourselves with goodies, was conversely the most unfulfilling football day ever. Ba Humbug to bad Turkey Day football games!!! Detroit, I love ya but this is just not working out. Maybe we should just be friends. I think your family's house for Thanksgiving every year is just too much commitment.
Buffalo keeps their playoff hopes alive.
Baltimore beats Cincy like they owe them money.
Indy is on a roll...good for you, Tony!
G.B. and Caro...*psst...lean in*. I actually have no clue about this game. I hope G.B. pulls it out though.
J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!! Plus, Cutler was talking some serious smack this week. Not smart, buddy...
I wanna see Joey Porter do a C-Walk all over Steven Jackson's helmet. Then he'll go on PTI and say he was disrespected when Steven wouldn't cut his hair.
What the hell is going on in NY? My man Plexiglass is really tripping. He's like a bad season of As the World Turns, or Dallas. They still win, despite his chicacanery.
For the 13 game, you think I would be more sure, but I switched this last minute. Its just, I'm afraid because whenever I bet on rookies they let me down.
Finally, Pittsburgh breaks through on New England. The first time you get Dad in driveway hoops is nice too. Then you run inside and get grape Kool Aid from Mom...memories.
New Orleans somehow still finds ways to lose, even though they go for 700-plus yards on offense. How IS that? They do the same thing again, as the still playing Barber brother goes for another pick six.
Oakland is looking alright lately. I think they have some pride, whereas the Chiefs players are just collecting checks at this point.
Can you name 5 players on Minnesota's team not named Adrian Peterson? Me neither, but who cares. Someone, literally, needs to check his DNA for traces of "beast."
Finally, the most disappointing team in the land goes too....Jacksonville!!!
Good luck, hope your pants still fit. I'm out - like the store you waited in line 5 hours to get a Nintendo Wii is - as soon as you get to the register.
PEACE!
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